my boyfriend's teen daughters hate me

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

My boyfriend has two daughters, 15 and 11. They refuse to be around me, and are not letting him have the type of relationship we were going for. They agreed once for me and my two kids to move in, butt by the next Friday they were refusing to come back too their dads until we were gone, and they refuse to spend any time with me s t all. What do i do??


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Raye - posted on 02/09/2015




I don't know how long you have been dating, but you should not be thinking about moving in together if the kids are so opposed. Assuming that the relationship progresses to marriage, they will be your family, and you don't want to have either a constant battle going on or create a situation where he no longer gets to see his kids.

Your BF should not MAKE them get to know you. He should explain things in such a way to make them realize that you are a part of his life and they should WANT to get to know you. When I started dating my husband, he didn't tell his kids about me right away, but they could see a change in him and that he was happier. When he finally did tell them, then they were excited to meet me because they could see what a difference I had made.

I'm with Sarah, this might not be the right time or the right person for you.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/09/2015




Depending on how long you've been seeing their dad, you could have moved way too quickly.

Moving in together simply because you are dating is never a good idea, especially with kids involved. There needs to be counseling, preparation, etc for the blend.

Sarah - posted on 02/09/2015




Maybe this is not the right time for you two to be dating. Or maybe this is not the right person for what you are looking for. I would have suggested not moving in together. That just creates a bad situation that does not end you can see. You two jumped too fast for your relationship and also for the kids' relationship with you. You may not be able to repair what has already happened. So now you need to look at what is best for the kids involved.

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