My child doesnt lke my boyfriend anymore.

Victoria - posted on 10/09/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )




soeone please help. So I have two children a boy and a girl. my daughter is the oldest who is 4. I introduced my boyfriend to my kids about 9 months ago, she adored him so much and always talked about him. Now, my boyfirend is very sturn, he will not let her talk back or as he says 'run things', it is a good thing because i was a single mother who let things slide ALOT, so he has been putting her in time outs and taking things away from her. It is fine, I do realize its for the best but now she is pushing it he will ask what do you want for dinner and she will reply 'nothing' and throw a fit at everything he asks and says. Even though if it was just me and her I know she wouldnt act like that. any suggestios? please?


Jodi - posted on 10/09/2013




I agree with Shawnn, it is not your boyfriend's job to discipline your children. Bringing in a new boyfriend AND asking him to be disciplinarian is asking for trouble. Sure, eventually a step parent can be involved in discipline, but 9 months? No. It is way too soon. As the parent YOU need to instigate the discipline......or are you worried that she won't like you then?

Being a single parent is NOT and excuse. Been there. My child was quite disciplined.

And just a tip, when she says she wants nothing for dinner......give her nothing on a plate.


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Michelle - posted on 10/09/2013




Like the others have said, it's not your boyfriends job to discipline, it's yours.
I was also a single parent for many years and my children were disciplined, it's not an excuse.
You have allowed your daughter to run the house for so long and now are having to deal with consequences of all of a sudden disciplining her.
If it's just the 2 of you now do you still let her do what she wants? If you do then of course she's going to hate your boyfriend. He's the evil one that won't let her do what she wants.

Amy - posted on 10/09/2013




First of all I would never allow a boyfriend to discipline my children unless he was left unattended with them which is very unlikely. As a single mom it's my job to enforce the rules,

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/09/2013




Start being the disciplinarian with your kids. It is NOT your boyfriend's job.

If you hadn't "let things slide ALOT", he wouldn't feel the need to enforce time outs, etc.

Just because you were a single parent, that's no excuse for "letting things slide". I have a feeling that if he weren't in the picture, you'd fix whatever your daughter wanted for dinner (for example), even if she changed her mind 12 times before were done, just to avoid an argument.

Take the reins back with your kids. If discipline is necessary, YOU enforce it. Stop giving in, stop pacifying them with what they want. Set appropriate limits and boundaries, and stick to them. For example, if you ask your daughter what she would like for dinner, and she says "nothing", then you fix dinner, and when she throws a fit about "this isn't what I want", she gets a choice. Eat what's placed in front of her, or go in to time out. NO new food will be fixed for her, and when she decides she's hungry, she can finish the meal that you fixed.

You don't indicate that you're in agreement with the punishments, just that "its fine" that he enforces. If she doesn't see you backing him up, or enforcing rules and boundaries yourself, of course she's going to push!

Limits: set them. Consequences: Stick to them. You chose to have these kids, now its time to stop letting things slide and be a parent. Don't depend on others to take care of that responsibility for you.

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