My Child's Deadbeat Father is going to file for full Custody

Kalyn - posted on 06/08/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




My Child's Deadbeat Father is going to file for full Custody, How can I beat this action?
My youngest father has not been in the picture since he was 3 years old. I have tried many times to give the father opportunities to have involvement. Then he always had a reason or excuse to not fulfill the agreement. The father has not paid for a penny for my child and for that reason, I knew if I would of filled for child Support I would of never received a penny. The father has another child with another woman and she did file for child support and he does not pay her. So I had made a decision not to get involved with the government system and put my child through drama of not needed BS. I believe anyone can father a child but you can't make someone be a daddy! On top of all this another reason why I didn't want any involvement with the father is that he got in a relationship with a girl that was 16yrs old. that was and is disturbing. The father and girl is still together and she is now over 18, but I just think, I didn't want my child to think that is right and for my child to learn bad behaviours from the father!
Now that my child is going to be 13, I found out that the father has contacted a lawyer and is filling for full custody! OMG!!!!! This is not right and what should I do?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/08/2015




So get an attorney, file for support and primary legal and physical custody. Request any visitation be supervised. THEN, if he continues to not visit, document. No payment, document. After sufficient documentation, you can possibly request a removal of rights.
At this point, he's got the same right to custody as you do, if he's the child's biological father. You not filing support is one reason you're not getting support. If you file, his pay can be garnished. Also, custody and support are separate issues. You cannot deny visitation based on lack of monetary support. Your child is not a commodity to be paid for in order to see.
Bottom line: it is not up to you to solely determine the child's father's access, nor is it your right to deny the child his right to know his biological father.
Get an attorney

ETA: You've let this fiasco continue for THIRTEEN YEARS??? Get an attorney and be responsible.


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Raye - posted on 06/08/2015




Definitely get a lawyer. You should have gone through the courts to get custody, visitation and child support straightened out when you separated from your child's father. It would not have been putting the child through un-needed BS, because 1) the child should not know what all you are doing for their protection, and 2) it would have been for the child's protection so both parents would know where they stand legally. Whether or not you felt the father could pay the child support is not the point. It's his responsibility, and the child should have every advantage they can get. You may not have needed that money for daily expenses, but if you had received any money you could have put that away for your child's education.

All that is past, so all you can do now is get a good lawyer, try to keep custody, and you should try to get child support as well. Depending on where you live, the judge may consider your child's wishes on where they want to live. If you have proof that you tried to give the father visitation, and he refused, then have that available for the judge. If you have proof that he had a relationship with a minor, then you should also have that available for the judge. Don't go in making any accusations you can't prove. The more calm and collected you appear in court, the better your chances. I wish you luck.

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