Carmen - posted on 11/14/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )




She intercepts his messages and calls when I want to discuss our children she tells him what he is going to do with his paycheck. When I need so much stuff for the kids now she decides to put stuff in layaway for the kids. He is letting this girl control everything I can't even call and talk to him because she is right there shadowing his phone calls saying no you can't do this or no you can't do that. It is driving me crazy. My kids dad has kids with another woman as well but their kids are older and they haven't been together for years. And the new girlfriend doesn't pull this stuff with the other kids mom just me. Me and my kids dad have a baby that will be here next month and we have a two year old son. Also we have been on and off for 9 years the new woman has only been in the picture for 8 months! Now he has tried to cheat and even leave her for me in that 8 months but she found out and they have broke up behind him still wanting me on numerous occasions. But she took him back again after i told him I didn't want to be with him anymore! Could this be why she acts this way with me and what can I do, because I can't even discuss anything with him without her in our business...


Jodi - posted on 11/14/2013




Carmen, do you have a child support case? Because if you don't, you need to get one. This is how you get stuff for your kids, not relying on his paycheck. You shouldn't have to call him to ask for money at all.

With the phone calls, tell her that you would like to speak to your ex, not her. Don't discuss it with her. Actually, you can refuse to discuss matters with her. If he wants to see the kids, he can call you. And on that note, get yourself a court order with a visitation schedule, and then it is nicely spelled out to her.


View replies by

Lacye - posted on 11/14/2013




Personally, if I heard her talking in the background, I would tell him that he needs to call you back when he can discuss things with you and you alone. You don't have to go through her just to get things done.

But Jodi and Shawnn are right. You need to go and have a custody agreement and child support brought up. That is the only way you are going to have any peace.

Carmen - posted on 11/14/2013




christian I wouldn't sit back and just say oh well I will deal with her, hell no! Me and him had these kids together not me and her she is just another chick that he is dating she could be in his life today and out of it tomorrow. Me and him will have these kids for the rest of our lives and she is just going to have to deal with the fact that me and him have to communicate and we have a new born that will be here next month. I just really wanted advice on how to talk and discuss our children without her all in his ear or giving her opinion on something that really has nothing to do with her....

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/14/2013




Get an attorney, get court ordered support & visitation set up. Ask that one of the conditions be that only you and your ex may consult about the kids, and that any 3rd party that wants to be in the agreement must be approved by both you and your ex or they don't get involved.

You have every right to tell her that you will not speak to or through her about your children with your ex.

Legacyforce - posted on 11/14/2013




You need a hug, listen right now you are the enemy! If you really need something and you know right now you must go through her, either go through her are do it yourself. Why do you keep going back, he comes back because he is a man and some men just keep going back to home plate, but you that has been on second base for 9 years, you have to realize you are bigger, you are brighter, and you have moved on. Now move on, you are stressing yourself and your unborn child out, and raising a 2 year old, is he crazy and now with another women.
He doesn't know what he wants, but he do know he can come back to you!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms