My college-age child does not want to come home over break

Carol - posted on 03/30/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )




We are going through this same thing. My son has a great job and a girlfriend in his college town. But he also has an OK summer job waiting for him (he doesn't love it but they love him). He does not want to come home over the summer and believes he can increase his work hours and live with his girlfriend, practically rent-free, but we think he should come home, not only to "take a break" from his girlfriend and "college town" life but also so he could see his hometown friends and US!


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Sarah - posted on 03/30/2016




If he can manage it financially and will be able to return to school, then I'd leave it be as well.

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2016




Time to cut the apron strings and let him make his own choices about his life.
He's old enough to be living away from home so let him decide what he wants to do.
The more you push the issue the more likely he will stay for good. Don't push him away just because he isn't doing what you want him to do.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/30/2016




Why do parents of ADULT children assume that those kids are going to continue to float back home just because mom WANTS IT?

Yes, this is harsh for you to read or hear but here it is, from a mom who has TWO adult kids, one who lives on his own and one who isn't there yet.

HE IS AN ADULT. Stop trying to control what he does, or make him do things that YOU think are "best for him".

He gets to make those decisions all for himself now. Just because he doesn't want to come "home" for break means nothing, except that he may now consider his new life "home", and you are now the "parent's house". He's GOT a life! Sounds like it's a good life, so far, if he's got a job, is still in school, and finding time to socialize. Why would you want to control his summer?

(Not to mention: GREAT job at college, OK job in hometown...Why would one jeopardize a GREAT job, just because his mom thinks that he "needs a break"?

He's trying to be an adult...not a HS kid who goes home to mom and dad's.)

Dove - posted on 03/30/2016




If he's in college I am assuming he is over 18 years old... What he does during his summer break is his business. You do not have to provide any finances towards it if you do not approve... but you do not get to make the decision for him.

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