My daughter has left me I'm devastated how do I cope :(

Karen - posted on 10/10/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Just over a year ago my husband left me for my best friend , I now have a new partner and life's great , apart from my daughter , she used to be sweet n careing now she has turned 16 she has changed , dosnt do anything I ask , tells me what to do , tells me when to go to bed !! Back chats me and makes arguments , then recently threatened me with "I'm going to live with my dad " so I called her bluff and said okay , your 16 it's your decision although I don't want you to , so off she went and left our family home , I'm gutted just want to cry most days but stay strong for the rest of the family , I message her nearly everyday and only get back one word answers , she puts posts on Facebook about her dad and his girlfriend , which hurts me like crazy ! Every night of her life iv told her I love her very much when it's bed time , I don't understand what I did that was so wrong , any advice is welcomed , is it me ? Is it all my fault ? I don't know how to deal with this !!


Ev - posted on 10/11/2014




Onetraeh does have it on the nose. I am sorry that this happened to you but it has also happened to her. I do not want to be blunt and make the pain more for you but this saying came from my own grandmother (God rest her soul). Wise woman beyond her years and even sometimes her experience (She never split from her husband of 53 years and never knew what divorce or split up was like or meant really). Her saying was, "When parents split up, its the kids who suffer the most." And she is right. Your daughter had it all with a good home, both parents there, and everything secure. Now its all gone. What she once knew is not ever going to come back. She is hurting because she probably did not expect this and it came flying into her face so fast she did a 360 turn without knowing it. Now she is trying to figure things out like why it happened, maybe if she caused it, and that in combination of growing into an young adult woman. Maybe she can not voice her thoughts and feelings yet and this was the one way she could. Maybe she might be blaming you (I am not saying she is but she could be) for what happened not knowing what did happen to cause this family unit to break apart. She is trying to cope in a new world compared to the old one. Give her time. Give her some distance and only text her that you love her and you think about her. As for one word answers, that is great because she has not totally cut you out. I understand this from personal experience with my own kids and the divorce me and my ex went through. Take care. Keep hanging in there and she will come around once she sees and understands that sometimes things like this are for the best for all.


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Onetraeh - posted on 10/11/2014




Wht a great best friend & ex husband :( srry to hear tht;I wanted to say tht most likely as much as u were devastated I'm sure your daughter was too to see the break up of her family.I've never been through it myself but I would imagine tht her world crashed as she knew it;add to tht the pressures of being a teenager especially a girl would be awfully hard!:( I can't imagine how it must feel tht she's living with this other woman but it could have been worse & she could be running the streets so tht's one good thing;as much as she's not showing u I think your daughter probably loves u very much she's just going through a couple changes right now but she'll come around

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