My daughter is 2 yrs and 6 mnths - very cranky

Donna - posted on 03/16/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 2 yrs and 6 mnths old. I have a new baby 6 mnths old who needs attention.I understand the girl feels neglected. but she over does it. I try to pay more attention to her.Spend more time with her but she get too cranky and it irritates me.
She wakes up crying and goes to sleep at night crying.Pls advice

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Chana - posted on 03/17/2015

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Donna,

It seems like you are getting defensive and that is very easy to do especially with the written word because it can come across harsh and no one is trying to upset you or say that you don't hug, cuddle, etc. as much as you can. We just want to help your daughter feel better about being a big sister. You have to understand that you are the adult here and you know what is going on. She does not understand because she is too young. You keep saying things like "I expected this", "insufficient to her", "more attention than she needs" these sound almost like you are blaming her. That's not fair she is a toddler and did not ask to have a baby. She was perfectly happy when it was you and her and she just wants that back. She can't have it, we all understand that but it is up to you to do everything you can to make her still feel special and loved. If that means putting baby down on a blanket for 5 or 10 minutes while you do something together beside the baby so be it. Let her be the big sister and help even if takes a little longer, let her get the diaper out, let her carry the bottle what ever it takes. Like I said before I have been there my oldest was 19 months when my youngest was born it takes work but you have to do it for both of them.

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Sarah - posted on 03/18/2015

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The Five Love Languages of Children is a book by Gary Chapman that may help. You could also try getting your daughter a new baby doll and she can follow you around looking after her baby as you look after the new baby - changing nappies, singing lullabies, feeding rocking etc. Help her with a new name for her 'baby'. Is it also possible that she has developed some separation anxiety from when you were away having the baby? Playing with her with a family of dolls in which the mummy doll goes to have a baby may help her play out what is happening for her and help you know where she's coming from. :)

Donna - posted on 03/17/2015

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I do hug her. I cuddle her too. I spend time with her as much as I can. All insufficient for her.

Donna - posted on 03/17/2015

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I already expected this from her , her pining for extra attention. But I do give her a lot more attention than she needs. It make no difference, everyday she gets up crying , throughout the day she is cranky and my mom gets irritated too. I try to be nice to her but in the end I just end up loosing my cool.

Chana - posted on 03/16/2015

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My question first is this, is she cranky or is just looking for attention? I understand the it can be irritating, I've been there. I had my youngest when my oldest was almost 19 month old and it's not easy. Try to include her when carrying for the baby let her help you. Yes it will take you a little longer but it will make her just as important and special as the baby. When the baby is napping give her a little extra attention. I will get some flack for this but she is still a baby too and needs Mommy and doesn't like to share your attention. If you are getting irritated with her you are just adding to her being upset. You need to stay calm and relaxed because if this is a difficult time for you try to imagine how difficult it is for her. All she really knows is that mommy brought home this thing that looks like a baby doll but it cries and takes all her attention and I miss mommy.

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