My daughter is in emotionally abusive marriage,do I talk to his Mom?

Louise - posted on 10/13/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )




My only daughter is 24 yrs old, has been married for 4 months and is 7 months pregnant! She is very unhappy, becoming withdrawn and family has noticed a change in her personality. She has told me of some horrible arguments, he one time threw his dinner against the wall!

He now told her he does not want me to be in the labor room with my daughter and it broke my heart. Nicole, my daughter said from the beginning she wanted me to be with her. I feel he is pulling her away from me and I don't know what to do. He has a pretty close family and professes to be family minded but is not. Should I talk to his mother about my concerns? He is not helpful at all, she cooks breakfast, lunch and dinner for him, works, grocery shops and keeps a beautiful home, all at 7.5 months pregnant! He comes in (i have been there) doesn't even give her a kiss hello, no "how are you?" nothing.

I am broken because Nicole and I have always been close. Please give me some advice!

Sad, Mom


Aster302516 - posted on 10/13/2016




I can understand how concerned you’re about Nicole, but I don’t think it’s wise to speak to her husband’s mother. I agree with Ev about being there for your daughter and providing her all the support you can at this difficult time. I just said a prayer for Nicole and I really hope things get better for her soon. Hugs to you!

Sarah - posted on 10/13/2016




I don't think talking to his mom will do much. Like Ev said they are adults. They are making their own choices....both of them. They are not little kids. Being supportive of your daughter and encouraging her to seek help is all you can really do. Also be objective. Throwing his plate against the wall is not appropriate, but asking you to not be in the labor room during the birth is. It is ok for them to set boundaries for their family. So make sure you are not calling things abusive that are appropriate boundaries for them to set.

Ev - posted on 10/13/2016




You can not do that. What do you think his mother will do? Ground him? They are adults and you can not do anything or step in. What you can do is be supportive of your daughter and be there for her. If she feels this relationship is not going to be good for her then maybe she needs to go the women's shelter and so forth.


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Michelle - posted on 10/15/2016




Like the others have said, they are both adults and you have to let them live their own lives.
Your daughter isn't a 16yo that you can say not to see a certain boy anymore, she is making her choices.
Be there for her and let her know that she doesn't have to stay if she doesn't want to. Let her know you will support her if she decides to leave.
Do NOT talk to his Mother, who do you think he learned what a marriage should be like? His parents most probably.

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