my daughter is sleeping in our bed

Amy - posted on 05/15/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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my daughter is sleeping in our bed at night she is 6 and half months old and we cant get her out, i know your not ment to have your babies in bed with you because of them getting to warm etc. she did go through a stage for a couple of weeks of staying in her cot but no just want go in it, even if i wait till she is fast asleep to put her in her cot she wakes up and is awake till i put her in my bed......its driving me insaine!!!

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Christie - posted on 05/15/2009

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As a single mother of 3 kids I loved having my kids in my bed I think I needed it more than the kids did, was it the right thing to do problem not but you know what I loved the time we shared cuddled up to one another. Remember they will grow out of it in time they are only small for so long. Since I have been in a long tern relationship I have made the transiton of having them sleep in thier own room it took some time but having them take turns picking out a movie they want to watch really helped. I usually let them camp out on Mom's floor once a month and you know what they love it and I feel it helps keep the bond. One more note if you read books to your child before bed and a warm bath it might help calm them down. Most of all you need to do what you believe is right and go with it nobody knows your child more than you do. I wish you the best of luck

Lynsey - posted on 05/15/2009

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u must be firm amy i know its hard love but as the saying goes cruel to be kind but you're not actually being cruel anyway with leaving them to cry they are more switch on then what we think they are. I tell you now she will cry and cry then she will stop and then all of a sudden she will cry probably even worse lets face it thats their only communication just dont give in no matter what ur partner mite say its for the best for all of you xx

Amy - posted on 05/15/2009

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i know there is nothing wrong with having your baby in bed with you its nice to bond but i cant get no sleep she kicks and smacks me even some nights my partner cant stay in the same bed. she sleeps through the night and has done since she was about a month old. her cot is next to the bed, she is so stubborn, i will try the crying technique again and see how that goes. thank you all for your tips and comments. hope everything goes ok for you aswell Samantha Kohn, as i know your in the same position as me x

Lynsey - posted on 05/15/2009

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well i liked having my lil girl in bed with me, but it was me who had to break the cycle for my own space, a few tears and tantrums now while your lil un is small is better than when she is older, its the parent who needs to change mind set i know we dont like it when we hear our babies cry but she wont die from crying just keep an eye on her without her seeing you be strong and you will do it x good luck

Sara - posted on 05/15/2009

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Quoting abigail:

my 2 yr old slept in our bed as a baby as we had the same problem when she was tiny but she gradually outgrew it, if she wakes even now we'll bring her in if she can't go back to sleep in her bed, we also have a 3 mth old and she often sleeps with us, i don't see anything wrong with it and honestly think that they get out of the habit when they are ready, my daughter will not fall asleep in our bed anymore at all unless she has woken after a few hrs in her own bed.
i know the quality of sleep isnt quite the same just catch up in the day, i'm master at this!!



No disrespect, but catching up with sleep in the day isn't an option if you have a full time job outside the home.  If I don't get sleep at night, it just doesn't happen.  That's why we went with a sleep training method, so we could all sleep better.  What ever works for your family, you know?  We're all different!



 



And I tried to sleep in bed with my daughter, it was the worst night ever!!!  Who would have thought that a 20 lb baby could be worse to sleep with than a 200lb man!  :)

Courtney - posted on 05/15/2009

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Sara, I am totally with you. No one in the house was sleeping, Gabe slept with us, toss & turned all night, it was terrible! We read Dr. Ferber's book "How to solve your childs sleep problems" & it saved our life! We did this when he was about 5 months old. He went from sleeping on my chest all night squirmming around to sleeping in his crib 10-12 hours a night. I couldn't believe how much better it was to actually sleep at night and what a difference it made in my attitude & his, we're both much happier. His crib is in our room so I still feel close to him & can check on him if I want, but he sleeps so soundly now! You can start sleep training your child at 4-6 months old or later, Dr. Ferber addresses all different circumstances, like for us it was me still breastfeeding Gabe. Its not just letting him cry it out because you check on them frequently, he never cried longer than 20 minutes, and by the 3rd night he slept 11 1/2 hours! I would recommend this book to anyone with sleep problems, it even addresses sleep problems with older kids. I enjoyed sleeping with him when he was smaller, but as he got bigger we really weren't getting any good, restful sleep & we were at our wit's end. Good luck, try the book!!!

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I don't think any 5 year old needs to be sleeping with their parents unless they are sick.

However, a 5 - 6 month child rarely sleeps thru the night anyway so if they are in the same room life is much easier. Somewhere between one and two they can transition to their own beds. I actually put a double size matress in my childs room on the floor and would lay down with them after bath and story time. We discussed the day and they went to sleep. At this point the next baby was in my room. Worked well and we all got sleep.

Nicole - posted on 05/15/2009

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hi my daughter has been sleeping with me for 5 months since birht, in the past month i have been tryin to get her to sleep in her own bed , i put her to bed at 8 then she wakes around 12-1 and eats agian then i try and put her back in her crib and she sumtimes takes to it but she always ends up in bed with my my hubby tells me i have to let her cry but at 4-5 in the moring thats the last thing i wanna hear..lol... im startin solids soon so hopefully tha twill help.....i think u just gotta stick it out ive almost got her outta my bed and hope to by the end of the month....we cant sleep together because she wakes all the time it drives me nuts

Abigail - posted on 05/15/2009

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my 2 yr old slept in our bed as a baby as we had the same problem when she was tiny but she gradually outgrew it, if she wakes even now we'll bring her in if she can't go back to sleep in her bed, we also have a 3 mth old and she often sleeps with us, i don't see anything wrong with it and honestly think that they get out of the habit when they are ready, my daughter will not fall asleep in our bed anymore at all unless she has woken after a few hrs in her own bed.

i know the quality of sleep isnt quite the same just catch up in the day, i'm master at this!!

Sara - posted on 05/15/2009

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Two words: Sleep Training. I don't think there's anything wrong with your child sleeping with you if it's what you want. But, from the sound of things with some of you, it is not what you want to be doing. I read the book "How to solve your child's sleep problems" by Richard Ferber. Some don't agree with cry it out methods (but that's not really what this is, I mean, you let them cry, but dont' just leave them alone to cry to exhaustion), and that's fine. However, it has worked for me and my family. My daughter is 7 months and she sleeps in her own bed, in her own room. Good luck!

Cornelia - posted on 05/15/2009

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My daughter just turned a year old and I know that time flies and I will soon find myself begging her to sleep with me and she will say "No Way!", so I guess we could also enjoy the close bond we get with our children while they share our bed as babies :)

Samantha - posted on 05/15/2009

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heehee, and his crib faces the foot of our bed. He will get out of his bunting climb up and stand there and scream at us. after a while he will stop, but if we make a move he proceeds to yell at us more. I am thinking of putting up a divider so he can't see us but can still hear us. I dont know as far as this subject goes I am in the same boat as Amy!

Samantha - posted on 05/15/2009

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oops not moms meant to sleep with their mothers but babies, babies were meant to sleep with their mothers. :)

Candice - posted on 05/15/2009

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I do not agree with a child sleeping in your bed. My daughter and I slept in the same room from the time she was 1-5 years old. When she was about 2years she would keep climbing into bed with me, it was tiring and a very long process but I would wake up in the night and put her back in her bed, it seemed like she was crying every single night, and I hated it, but she is fantastic now. We don't share a room anymore, she's 6 now, and I was worried about her having a hard time with the transition, so for the last year we shared a room I made sure there was divider to give her the sense of having her own room, and it seems to have worked.

A parent needs to have a distinct line between adult and kid. Or else there will be problems down the road, and sharing a bed is just the beginning.

Cristy - posted on 05/15/2009

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I agree with you Cheryl..Is ok to sleep with them and little by little you start by letting them fall a sleep with you and change them to the crib..some children like to wake up and see their mon so move the crib next to your bed.you will also be able to get some sleep. Hope it helps Amy.Good luck and God bless your precious Baby.

Samantha - posted on 05/15/2009

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I agree that moms were meant to sleep with their mothers, but my little guy kicks me crawls up on my head pulls my hair and the other morning crawled right off the bed. If he weren't so active I might not mind as much , but no one can get any sleep when he is in the bed.

Samantha - posted on 05/15/2009

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I am having the same problem with my 7 month old son. But so far I put him in his crib and even if he cries, we leave him there, eventually he falls asleep. Sometimes he will sleep through the night, sometimes not. Most of the time he gets up 3 times in the night, and I eventually at 6 or 7 just get up and put him in bed with us. Just so I can get some sleep.

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