My grandaughter is 4 years old

Jamie S - posted on 01/12/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




My father and I own a business together. I am the grandmother of Ava. Today she was on a day trip with my nephew and his 4 year old daughter and when he brought my granddaughter to our office and dropped her off she usually comes in and hugs my dad and is excited to see him. However today she came in and shunned him and would not speak to him or hug him. This made him upset and he told her it was wrong and that her behavior was unacceptable. She was very upset and cried on my lap. I tried to explain to him that she is only 4 and that there are better ways to teach her about her lack of excitement to see him and that being courteous is very important but at the same time you do not need to yell at a child in a military way to teach them properly. He is very old school and believes in strong discipline but I believe you can hurt a child worse depending on how you approach the discipline. I could really use some good advise please??


Dove - posted on 01/12/2016




I firmly believe that every person has the right to their own personal space boundaries and they deserve to have those respected.

Yes... the polite thing to do would to have had her still say hi to him, but a hug should never be forced and a person should NEVER be reprimanded for not being in the mood for a hug.

Some 'old school' stuff drives me absolutely up the wall. I don't know how I would handle it w/ him though. What do her parents think about the situation?


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Sarah - posted on 01/12/2016




This is her great grandfather? There are many reasons for her aloof behavior. First she is four that alone can make for a unpredictable arrival. She may have been tired, hungry or not feeling well. She may have been scolded by your nephew or not gotten on well with the other child. Also, awful to consider, could she be afraid of your dad? Is it possible that he has frightened her with his old school ways? If this were my child, I'd give it a day and then ask her; why did you not hug grandpa? Her response may be telling.

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