My grandson doesn't know me or know that my son is his father

Shannon - posted on 05/19/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




My son got his girlfriend pregnant about 21 years ago and her parents adopted the baby boy. He knows his birth mother as his "sister". He knows nothing of my son, who passed away in 2008, nor me and my family. His adoptive mother (who is really his grandmother) doesn't want him to know about me, but I want to know him. I don't know what to do. Will telling him the family secret ruin his life? I see him on facebook and he looks so much like my son.


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Michelle - posted on 05/19/2016




I agree with Sarah but by what you have written, I don't see them being open to you contacting them or him. It also sounds like he still doesn't know he was adopted and that's sad. He's an adult and has a right to know his parentage but there are some families that are more embarrassed by an "illegitimate" child than telling the truth.

Sarah - posted on 05/19/2016




If the grandparents formally adopted the child, and raised him as their son. I would talk to them before doing anything. To the letter of the law, your son was not the father after he gave up the child for adoption. This is part of the sorrow of placing a child for adoption, the happiness is that he was raise and loved very much. Talk to his parents. They stepped up and took this boy in as their own, to betray that gift is selfish.

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