My husband and I would Love to adopt a child, but have no idea where to start..??

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

Hi Everyone,

I want to get any info on adoption from anyone who has gone through the prosess. Even at a very young age I knew that I wanted to have a big family. I always thought I would have a couple of children of my own and then extend my family by giving a home to a child, maybe two children who needed a home.

I love children and I was told from a very young age that I could never have children. (I was crushed but wasn't going to gve up) I am a diabetic (type 1) I have always had a hard time controlling my blood sugar, and I have been on an insulin pump since I was about 15. I also have Endometriosis and have had 4 surgerys but it keeps coming back and each time it's worse than the time before. I had 3 doctors tell me that I would probably never have children and even a fertility doctor said he couldn't help me. I took the news hard, and it started to take a tole on my health. I was starting to get sick all the time and I was about to go on lupron (A drug to shut down my reproductive orgens to stop the Endometriosis) Well the day I got the call that my insurance was going to cover the drug I got a strange feeling that I should take a pregnancy test. Even though I thought I was crazy I took it and almost hit the floor when PREGNANT was in the results window!! I was in shock, but it was the happiest day of my life. My husband and I were thrilled and told everyone. Sadly our happiness was short lived because I lost the baby 2 days before Thanksgiving. We were crushed, but tried to move on. I kept getting sick and everytime I saw a dr they said it was stress from the loss of the baby. I was throwing up all the time, had headaches and I thought I was crazy but felt more pregnant then than I ever did. So at the end of December I went back to my ob and told him what was going on. He did blood work, and an ultrasound. He told me that the blood work showed that I was not pregnant and nothing was found on the ultrasound. He gave me some meds to help with the vomiting and told me again that it was stress. I knew in my heart something else was going on and they were missing something. One week went by and I was sicker than ever so I took a pregnancy test, and it was POSSATIVE! I took 3 more throughout the day and they all came back saying Pregnant. When I went to the dr 6 weeks later I was 11weeks 2 days pregnant. The doctor couldn't believe it. I was in fact pregnant and they missed it not only through blood work, but also ultrasound.

My pregnancy was high risk and very hard on my. I developed Proliferative Diabetic Retinopathy at 20 weeks. It is a disease of the eye and pregnancy causes it to progress faster. I had to go to have weekly painful lazer treatments done and had to have surgery on my right eye because I went a week only being able to see shapes. I couldn't even see my husbands face. I thought I was going to go blind. My vision go better but was told that I should not have anymore children because if I do I will lose my sight. I want to be able to see my son grow up so we are not going to risk a second pregnancy.

So I now have my beautiful baby boy who I thought I would never have, but I want to have more children through adoption. I want my son to have a little brother or sister, and we have so much love to give. I want to wait until my son is about 2 years old but I know the adoption prosess is a long one so I don't know how long I should wait. My son is almost 5 months old now.

I also don't know where to start. I have heard that it cost upwards of 10,000 dollars to adopt, and even though we are not poor we don't have that kind of money to put up all at once. Is it easier to adopt in the US or in another country? Race is not a factor with us so we are willing to adopt from anywhere in the world. We were thinking about China just because we heard you can get a child faster, and it doesn't cost as much but like I said we have no idea.

Sooo where do we start? Where do we go? Any advice would be great! We need all the help we can get.

Thanks all!!!


Kaitlin - posted on 02/03/2012




Have you looked into your health benefits or your husbands? Some places do cover certain portions of adoption costs (example: starbucks, you can receive up to 4k per child up to 12k in adoption costs)

Also, Are you looking at age? Certain organizations specialize in infant adoption (example: Catholic Charities) or you could adopt a waiting child (through the state- check out the Heart Gallery) who is older (over 5 are considered 'special needs' because of some extra attention like counseling that may be needed).

My husband and I have also looked into this as well and can't wait. There are so many options out there now a days- if you want to have any or all contact with the birth family (no matter the age) or if you want to adopt in a different country (again, you can choose the age bracket).

I'm excited for you! This is an exciting and nerve racking process filled with lots of ups and downs. We started searching through our church because we have adoption information available. If you want to check your own local churches (whether or not you are religious) they may have some info and ideas for you- it's where we started.


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[deleted account]


Thank you so much for you input, and great advice!

My husbands company does help with some of the cost but I'm not sure how much yet. We have just got so caught up in it all and over whelmed. There are so many different adoption agencies, and it seems like all of them differ with the information they give. I have looked online and some sites say you have to be married at least 4 years, and cant have health problems, and could be put on a waiting list where you might not recieve a child for 5 or more years if you get a child at all. It's got me freaked out because we want this so badly.

You gave me a lot of great places to start looking, so thanks again for that!

I also wish you and your husband the best of luck, and pray you get the child you are seeking.

We would like to adopt a younger child (one year or younger)

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