Jennifer S. - posted on 05/09/2013 ( 35 moms have responded )
53
0
0
He blows up easy,says mean comments an says I make him..he has called me stupid useless,makes comments about my looks sometimes..an makes comments in between lines,an emotional abuse,when hes mad he igores me,wont talk,about whats going on..an if sonthings bothering him he doesn't say,(he does it back?)I don't understand..that..behavior.his mother acts the same.(its like walking on eggshells)also he thinks I do things on purpose..an I do not.he has always said he pays the bills,(I stay home with our one year old)..he should be able to do what he wants..i asked for the credit card he said no..i said why/ he said I pay for it.were married!..my father also helps with groc.an money..tords the bills so I don't have to work an I can stay home with my daughter,i just wana know if anyone else goes throu this.. an what to do..an how to handle this.
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Mother Of Pearls - posted on 05/15/2013
32
0
3
oh hell no well first that is your daughter no matter what they say or no matter what his mother says and all m am going to tell you is to take a good look at your daughter she should be your one and only priority and your most important one so you need to get rid of him I know its easier said than done but it aint about you now its about her and her safety and her well being and I doubt you would want to raise your child in an environment like that she will grow up to think that the way he treats you is ok and she will allow someone to treat her that way I doubt you would want that for her so you need to take actions and soon because you need to feel safe and happy for yourself and your child and deserve better for you both it has became a safety issue for your child and it is hard when you have a relationship and a child with a person but if its not a safe haven for you or your child then you need out go to family or maybe a good reliable friend but you need to go I know its hard and confusing and your probably overwhelmed hun but in this case you need to get out that is a bad environment for the both of you and things can get worse so don't wait till its to late move forward now only you know how bad it is and if what your telling us is in fact the matter then you need to get out that's my advice to you my friend and I will pray and be here threw it all with you but only you can make a change for the better
Pamelia - posted on 05/14/2013
4
0
0
Hi Jennifer. I'm sorry to read that you are being verbally abused by the one you love so dearly. It's a sad thing to know you love a man who at every chance he get, he vents on you. That is the way they start before the next step of hitting. I know first hand. They try to break your spirit and make you think you are what they say. Be strong sista. If you have God in your life, pray over your husband and what you are going through. God didn't put us here to be mistreated. If you want my story, just ask. It may give you a new outlook of things. I do know, if it were not for the love and mercy of the Lord, my children and I WOULD NOT HAVE MAD IT.
Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/14/2013
581
0
54
That's abuse as much as punching you in the face is abuse. We have enough people in this world that want to bring us down, and your spouse is supposed to lift us up and be our support system. Your husband is trying to control you through emotional abuse bc he feels inadequate and wants you to feel as if you are stupid, ugly, useless, and can do not better then him ( which is total bs). Your one year old is absorbing everything that is going on in your house and will grow up thinking this is normal . Im not sure of the actual statistic , but I know kids who grow up in abusive household are way more susceptible to either being an abuser or finding an abusive spouse, and( I'm not saying this to be mean ) but you would be partly responsible for this if you continue to let your child be around this sort of behavior. When we have kids we have to remember everything we do has an impact on their growing minds and were the people who teach them most about the world. Right now your kids are being taught men abuse and control their wives and in their minds it's " ok" or why would mommy have stayed?
Carla - posted on 05/14/2013
3
0
0
Think about your daughter and what it will be like for her growing up in that environment! It's better to have 2 happy separated parents then 2 unhappy parents in an abusive home! What will she want from a man when she is older?
Carol - posted on 05/14/2013
371
6
80
I've been with an emotionally abusive husband. He will not get better unless he acknowledges the problem - and it isn't you. My ex went to counseling and heard the counselor suggest things that he should change. On the front steps of the building he told me that he just told the guy what he wanted to hear, that I should know everything was my fault and he didn't have to change a thing. He was so controlling that it took years to realize how bad it really was. He'd pushed all my friends and family away. I couldn't do anything right. I never looked right - I was obese at 125 pounds. I really wish I was that obese now. lol
Get out or get couples counseling. Don't leave another option. It will only get worse. Call him on the abuse each and every time. If you do leave, your daughter will have a stable relationship with you and see how "normal" people behave. Get her in counseling too when she's older if she starts to exhibit behavior like her dad or grandmother.