My husband still caters to his bully ex wife

Kimberly - posted on 08/18/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hello Moms,

I am not sure if I am over reacting but...I am frustrated with my husband's ex-wife(Karen) taking advantage of us. I would describe her as a bully. They have two little girls ages 4 and 6 which I adore. She will ask for extra days to keep the girls, which is no problem. However, when we have a special event that falls on his days she throws a fit and points out the parenting plan agreement. Then she puts my husband down as a man, father and goes beyond by criticizing his looks and the way he dresses. She is just mean! The problem is all she has to do is talk nice to him and he runs to her beck and call and say's he does it for the girls. Their parenting plan states they must meet at a location in between our homes for pick up and drop off. However, he ends driving all the way to her house on his days and pays crazy toll fees and an hour and half round trip.

He recently allowed her to go to his moms house to pick the girls up. In the past she was verbally abusive to his mom. I was livid and could not believe he would allow her near his mom.

I have tried to be very understanding and mind my business. But it is starting to really get to me emotionally. I feel like he has two wives and two lives. I too have a parenting plan but we stick to it and are respectful to each other. So, I know it can work. I have talked to him more than I can say. I love my husband , he is a wonderful man. I think he just doesn't like conflict and tries to make everyone happy. However, I now have a wall up and feel myself putting distance between us. I am tired of expressing how I feel. I am in a deep hole and don't feel the same way I used to about my relationship and marriage. I am 50 and just want peace in my life. I am also feeling issues with trust.

Simply at a loss.

Any ideas????


Kimberly - posted on 08/18/2013





I agree, its a no win situation. And, yes I do need to decide what is best. I know they will be connected and I understand this as I am divorced as well. I guess, I just expect every adult to act respectful towards each other for the children's sake. Just as my children's father and I are.

Your right, I need to focus my energy else where. He is grown man and can either put up with her abusive ways or not.

Time to so some soul searching....

Thanks for your response.


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Katrina - posted on 08/18/2013




Every person handles parenting and divorce differently.. Sounds like you need to stop, back off and let him handle it..Cause talking to him is not working.. So you need to decide for yourself .. Is this marriage worth it, or not? At 50.. with a 4 and 6 year old step daughter.. you have lots of time left in the parenting game and it seems like it is not going to change.. Let him handle it all, back off and let someone else (like his mom) point it out.. I can see where you are coming from (both divorced with a troublesome ex who is bulling, and now remarried with his ex in the picture).. it is rough.. But you need to just back off for your own peace of mind at this point.. The only way you are going to get peace with this one, is if you walk out the door or you just stop stressing about it. He is not going to change and they are going to be connected and seeing each other for years to come.. weekly likely before they are grown and it is able to go to special occasions. I feel for you, but there really is nothing you can do about it.

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