My Husband Travels alot and goes out to dinners and gets back late

MaxMOM - posted on 09/13/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband travels a lot for work and is constantly out to dinners and then spends his nights with co-workers in bars until 1 am or later. I always call him and he rejects my calls. when he does return my call he gets aggravated quickly when i mention his actions and question him... I understand he is the big boss and does not want to lose face in front of his employees but I don't understand why he MUST go out every night. Its like he has no self control and is the life of the gatherings. He complains he is developing a gut and he has a gym facility in 4 star hotels (WHY NOT USE THEM). I am home with my lil one 24/7 no me time and when my husband returns home he shuts me out and watches TV. I talk he ignores me. He is a wonderful man, he cares and gives us everything we want but I don't understand the silent treatment when he is home and the rejection when he travels Mon to Fri. I am losing strength and hope in our marriage. I feel like a single parent 24/7 (except that he provides for us). But emotionally he is absent 24/7. I feel so bad for our 12 month old because he is only with me. I get the interpretation when he is home that he doesn't want to deal with us... (he doesn't even change LO diapers anymore, he passes the task to me) we had arrangements that I would have 1 Sunday every 14 days but Never happens. I just don't know what to do anymore. This Monday was LO 1st B-day I drover 1 hr to meet with my family and blow candles (big party coming sunday) My husband yelled and screamed I stole 1st bday from him... I didnt know it was that sentimental to him when I asked him to come home to do alittle bday celebration. HE SAID why could i wait until Sunday... But monday was his b-day, i wanted to see my son happy on his official bday with a small cake. He said he would never forgive me for this and has since treated me extremely bad. Any suggestions?


Amanda - posted on 09/13/2013




I would try talking to him again...telling you exactly how you feel. That you feel like your marriage isn't going anywhere....maybe see if he would do marriage counselling with you. Now this is just my situation, doesn't mean that every man is the same, but....i was married to a guy for 5 years. He was mentally, physically, emotionally, financially abusive. I worked nights full time. He made great money, and yes provided for me very well, as long as it was what he wanted. My money went to him, I wasn't even allowed to buy a pack of gum without running it past him first. But i just pushed it aside and didn't let it bother me. He would work all day, then be gone all weekend(telling me that he was doing a job further away from home) which they did do once in a while. But anytime i called him as well, he would reject my calls.....if he wasn't working he told me he was just going out with the guys. Id ask why i can't come once in a while, but he said he just needed his guy time(i respect that), anyways, the beatings started to get worse, and i had a feeling he was cheating on me. I tried going to counselling because my marriage meant a lot to me. He didn't want to because of some other reasons....but i tried going anyways.....i left a couple different times, and he told me he was going to change, that he wanted a family etc....well me being stupid and of course selfish(cause i wanted a child), brought a child into this world thinking it would make things only got worse. Then i just had it...i did some snooping around, and found out he was cheating on me, i tried for another couple years, to make it work, but it wasn't fair, and i didn't want my daughter growing up in this world with a man like that. I left.
So all that to say, is i'd be isn't everything, you need to have your time as a couple as well...there is no marriage if he can't even spend a day with you. Try and see if he would get some counselling, or something...tell him that you need him, remind him of the vows you have taken. I hope this helps you and doesn't make you upset. I just would be getting a little more worried that something else is going on. I have been with an amazing man for 4 years now, and now i understand what a husband should be like, and how a marriage should be. He doesn't want to do anything without me and our children. He goes out once in a while....i'm a stay at home mom now of 3 little girls, and 29 weeks prego......he is a farmer, and there are days that i'm home and don't get to see him till 10 or later at night. It sucks feeling like a single parent, but i know he is truly working hard for our family....where as my ex i knew there was something not husband now answers my every phone call, or gets back to me shortly after if he's on the tractor or something, and we make sure that we spend at least every Sunday together as a family. Think about it. Best of luck!!

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