My Kids Father is filing for partial custody.

Lane - posted on 10/29/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have two children, 7 and 5 and finalized my divorce in January 2013 where I was granted Full Custody while their Father has visitation. Since he didn't show up to court, the judge didn't specify Visitation and said we had to come to a mutual agreement. So I created a 12 month calender with the date, time and place we meet and highlighted the days each of us had the kids (Not gonna lie, it took some work, including days off from
School, etc.) the calender worked for a while. Before I go on, I have to include that the kids Dad was in a relationship with a woman who constantly had domestic violence issues with each other. At one point, she was so drunk she beat him up and broke his nose, in front of our 8 year old neice. After that he told me he was done with her and even after that he told me stories about how she would show up to his work and try to drive him off the road. Well, lo and behold about a little while after they broke up, she found out she was pregnant with his child. So from that point on, I told him, I don't care what he does with his life as long as he doesn't bring my kids around his crazy, psychotic pregnant ex girlfriend. He agreed.

About two months ago (they're still broken up and he continues to tell me these stories about how crazy she is and how he needs to get custody of his baby) On the Sunday when it was time to get my kids back, I'm talking to my daughter and she says "We're at *******'s house" (his crazy ex) and I completely lose it.

After we agreed to keep their psychotic relationship away from our kids, he decided to actually have them stay the night at her house! His response was "we had no where else to stay".

So this is where it gets super difficult. That was the last weekend they saw him. I'm not going to allow them to be in an environment like that. Possible domestic issues. I told him he needed to get his life together and figure it all out before he sees the kids again.

Just a few weeks ago we were trying to come to an agreement over the phone where he then confessed that he tried to commit suicide. At that point, I told him he needed to get some psychological help, but he refuses. Now he says he has changed and is completely capable of taking care of our kids. He's filed for a change in custody but we're just waiting on a date. In the mean time, I scheduled a Mediation appointment (I don't know, to try to figure things out) I'm completely at witts end in this situation. I know my kids need two healthy parents in their lives but as of now, I know I'm the only one that can 100% take care of them. We have our mediation meeting on Friday, I don't know what to expect or how to even prove I am the one that's capable to take care and make life descisions for my babies.


Michelle - posted on 10/29/2013




In mediation it's not about proving anything. It's about trying to come to an agreement. The mediator is just there to make sure things don't get nasty and that you can talk without accusing each other of things.
I have just had mediation with my ex. It's good to try and get things sorted out without going through the courts. If you can agree on things in mediation then you can have a proper parenting plan drawn up.

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