My MIL won't mind her own business

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

My husband William and I have been married happily for 7 years and have 3 wonderful boys. But lately the past 3 months our marriage have been really rocky when my husband admitted to having sexual relationship with a female coworker, we separated for awhile. But we both wanted to save our marriage & family so we have been seeing a marriage counselor, since everything is going well William moved back in and we have started being a family again.

But now Will's mother wanted to know why she wasn't told about this and didn't ask what she thought, I told her flat out that it wasn't her business and that this is between Will and I, and William agrees and supports me all the way on this, but she still wants to stick her nose in our marital problems.

Is William and I right about this?


View replies by

Gwen - posted on 06/21/2011




You and your husband have every right to privacy. You say your husband backs you up on this. As the son, it is his responsibility to address the issue with his mother. He needs to be the one straightening things out w/ his Mom. He should be explaining to her in very clear terms that he supports your decisions and that the two of you have come to a MUTUAL agreement about what information you will/will not share.

Don't be too quick to throw her under the bus. Imagine someday your own child is having marital problems...wouldn't you want to know?

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 06/21/2011




Definitely., You had your problems but you worked it out. She doesn't need to know your dirty laundry.

Stifler's - posted on 06/21/2011




Yeah I would tell her to mind her own business. It will only end in tears if she is allowed to have an opinion and put her 2 cents worth in. It's definitely between you and him.

Constance - posted on 06/20/2011




Yes It is your marriage not hers. She really does need to back off and mind her own buiness. The way she should look at it is you want to make you mariage work and just stand behind you not in the middle.

Louise - posted on 06/20/2011




Hell yes! My parents in law seem to think they have an opinion on everything and like to express it. You just have to change the subject or ignore it or it will drive you potty! This is between you and your husband and if you want her opinion you will ask for it.

Tara - posted on 06/20/2011




You and your husband are right. Your marriage and how you deal with it is entirely your business and not hers.
My mom actually said to me once "It's none of my business what you do with your family or your life now, you're an adult - my job was to raise you up to the point where you could make those decisions yourself." Of course, she also told me that if I wanted to bounce ideas off her she would be there.
Your MIL sounds much like my MIL - she wants to control every aspect of her son's life, and by extension, your life, and it just doesn't work that way in the real world.

[deleted account]

Thank you so much Liz, Jenn, and Tamara for support and advice. My MIL and I have always had a strained relationship, I don't need her advice or opinion.

Tamara - posted on 06/20/2011




Yup, I would tell her the same thing I use to tell my parents, you pay my rent my bills and car payments then you can have input on my marriage or raising of my kids.

I know how hard this can be good luck, sending positive thoughts.

Jenn - posted on 06/20/2011




Of course it is only your husband and you in the marriage so only the two of you need to deal with marital issues! I wish you the best of luck, patience and forgiveness as your marriage continues to grow and heal. Mothers, MIL's, and anyone else with an opinion will give it to you so just tell them to back off and butt out!

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