My partner cheated on me with a friend/the nanny

Jene - posted on 12/08/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




Okay. Sounds cliche.

A few months ago I found out that my partner had been cheating on me for almost a year with a friend of ours who was also nannying my daughter. Their relationship began when she was about 4 months old. I was dealing with heavy depression at the time and he ran to her for support. She listened to everything he said and then, as I confided in her, would tell him twisted versions of my thoughts about the relationship. She was also engaged to be married and we were close friends with her fiancé.
They/she lived just a couple of doors down from us in our apartment complex which made it very convenient for them to spend lots of time together. In addition, she was at our home frequently caring for our daughter.
I'm still disgusted on so many levels. He and I ended up moving out of that apartment and had decided to try and make things work. To me, it was important for our baby to have both of her parents...
That being said, it's only been a few months and I go crazy thinking he's still cheating or lying. Some days I don't think he is at all and actually believe that he wants to make things right. He says he does and says he wants to live an honest life and be with me, as a family, and raise our daughter together. He says he wants to do everything it takes to be a good partner and eventually wants us to marry.
We have gone to counseling together and separately. It's been a little while since we have been because it's expensive and difficult to find someone to watch the baby. Obviously I can't use the evil bitch to watch her... Anyhow, I struggle with deciding what to do. I've read articles, blogs, etc., and have talked with friends, family, counselors... In the end, of course I need to decide what's best for me.
Our last argument, which happened just two days ago, was bad. I ended up staying in a hotel room with the baby just to find some peace from him. I don't want her around that anger... I know she feels it.... How can she not? She's very young, but so intelligent and perceptive... I don't want to hurt her.
I just read an article about a similar situation and while part of me wants to leave him, the other part of me sees him trying to make things right and wants us to be a loving household. I've heard both sides: one says he's an asshole and I deserve better, while the other says that the family unit is important.
I would love to hear from people who have dealt with a situation like this... So please, offer feedback as I'm in the very early stages of this...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms