My son is 1 year old and he still doesnt sleep through the night...any suggestions??

Renae - posted on 12/06/2009

First you absolutely must have a bedtime routine well established (min 2 weeks) before using any sleepthrough methods.



The method you choose will depend how he goes to sleep at bedtime (i.e. are you with him while he falls asleep) and how many times he wakes during the night.



You have several options. The quickest way is to use a crying method (of which there are several and you need to choose the right one for you and your baby), if you are able to do it slowly over a few weeks then there are "no-cry" options as well.



If you do use a crying method you need to know how to interpret your babies cries so that you know if he is in distress #I say never leave a baby in distress# and you know when to go into him. Crying methods properly implemented are more than 95% likely to work within 3-6 days.



If you use a crying method, it is usually best to choose one where you leave him and not go into him at all unless he is doing a distress cry. Methods where you go in, then leave again, then go back in again, then leave again are very distressing for most babies, as each time you leave they go through the initial distress all over again. Most babies settle quicker if they are left to calm down on their own.



You can expect between 20 and 60 minutes of crying the first couple of nights, most babies cry for 45 minutes. After 3-6 nights the crying will reduce to little or nothing. Day sleeps take longer, a few weeks, but the crying reduces significantly after the first week. When he wakes during the night he will cry for half the time he did at the start of the night.



There are many different cries, but all distress cries have one thing in common that you can listen for. You identify a distress cry by listening for pauses in his crying. If he is not distressed, he will pause for 3-5 seconds every 30-60 seconds. If you do not hear any pauses for a few minutes then he is in physical or emotional distress and you need to go in.



Other options you have are "gradual withdrawal" (google it or private message me for instructions or this post will be massive) or Tracey Hogg's "pick up / put down" method. Both of these are "no-cry" methods.



Lots of people swear by the book Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall, her method involves a little bit of crying (the amount depends on the age of the baby). There is also "No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, her methods take from a few weeks to a few months.



Sorry for the long post everyone. You are welcome to private message if you would like more information about anything I have said.

Lisa - posted on 12/11/2009

I really hate reading these posts. My daughter is almost 2 and has never slept more than 5 hours at a time at night and according to all the books,that is normal.

Babies and children wake up for a reason during the night. Shouldn't their needs be met just like yours are when you need something. The research is now out about what a negative impact has on babies and toddlers. It causes damage that can't be reversed. I was a child that was never allowed to cry it out at night and I never slept through the night as a child. I still dont'. I come from a family of non-sleeping through the night adults. Did anyone ever stop to think that, not sleeping for more than 5 hours at a stretch is the way your baby and children are programmed. Do the real research on sleep, not jus what the popular trendy books on baby sleeping are.

If you are a full time working mom that can have a lot to do with how your child sleeps at night at well, especially as a baby and toddler. They are away from you all day and they only want more time with you. In the middle of the night is perfect. They are warm, sleepy and cuddly and know that you are too, so they wake up to be held and cuddled back to sleep. It is their way of getting more quality time with mom.

My daughter is almost 2. I rock her to sleep while she nurses (yes we are still breastfeeding at night). I put her down in her crib after she falls asleep and she sleeps until between 1 and 4am. When she wakes up, I get her and she sleeps the rest of the night with me. Most of the time when she wakes, she nurses for a few minutes and goes right out. She will cuddle right up with me and has to be touching at all times. I work all day and putting her to sleep and having her sleep with me is the best part of my day. I wouldn't trade it for anything. She knows when she needs me I will be there. She knows if for any reason she wakes up at night, mommy will be there to take care of her whether she is sick or just needs a little more hugs and love.

I know so many people out there don't agree with co-sleeping with a child and that children should be left to cry it out. But I disagree. I work with children and I see the effects of unattached parenting (cry it out, non-cosleeping, play on your own all the time). Have you ever taken the infant and toddler history of a child that has behavior problems, attention issues or learning problems. I have.

Just somethings to think about.

In the end you have to do what is right for you and your family. But please think twice before over feeding or letting a baby cry it out. Is a few extra hours of sleep for you really worth the mental well being of your child?

LaKesha - posted on 12/05/2009

I know it sounds harsh but you have to ignore him. Go in his room every 10 min twice then every 20 min twice then every 30 twice. When you go in, don't talk to him and if you do just say shhhh, lay him down and walk out. It is hard because he is crying for you but it works. It take about 2 weeks at the most. He has to learn how to comfort his self and that is how you do it. I did it on my son and it took 4 days to work. Those were 4 hard days and my husband was there as support to make sure I didn't cave in but in the end he sleeps through the night and I wouldn't do it any other way.

Jennifer - posted on 12/06/2009

Quoting Alison:

my son sleeps better when he has the blanket over his head. before i did that he would wake up at 4am and now he dont wake up till 830 am

Alison nearly EVERY parenting class and book advises against anything in the crib let alone putting the blanket over their heads due to the risk of SUFFICATION (i.e. DEATH)!!!!!!!!!!!! he may give you a little extra sleep but you are putting your child in grave danger.  i am sure you are a great mother but please change your tactic and I truly hope no one takes your advise.

Gloria - posted on 12/06/2009

What time does he get up in the morning? Is it the same time every day? How long is he allowed to nap during the day and at what time. These things can affect he sleep pattern for the night.

Mastooreh - posted on 09/18/2013

You said the length of letting them cry it out depends on the age my baby girl is 13 month old, how long should I let her cry? I usually nurse her to sleep put her in the crib but she wakes up middle of the night n I bring her to my bed n feed her to sleep

Susanna - posted on 12/09/2009

My daughter is 3 and she still wakes up 3-4 times a night! lol

Shannon - posted on 12/07/2009

Ok, when they are that old, in my opinion anyway a hungry belly isn't what usually makes them wake up. Usually by then it is habit. I would lay him down in the crib with something that he likes to sleep with, even if it is your shirt that you have worn for the day. Maybe play some relaxing classical music that isn't going to keep them entertained. Have a night light on tell him you love him and its time to go night night and close the door. Let him cry I don't know how long but it can't be like five minutes or something like that. I usually don't let them cry for over a half an hour. When I go to them DO NOT TAKE THEM OUT OF THE CRIB. So when he wakes up in the middle of the night give him is passe if he takes it still, or just say love you, night night and walk out again. Just don't talk to them, take them out of the crib, make a bottle. Anything like that. The only reason he is doing it at this age is simple habit and attention. You have to break that. Allow him to learn to soothe himself as painful as that is to be around. At six months I stop rocking them to sleep at night, I lay them in the crib and let them fall asleep themselves but that is me and it is not for everyone. I hope this helps, keep me updated and let me know.

Leslie - posted on 12/06/2009

I would not put a blanket over a baby's head or face in any way. They will be breathing in the same exhaled air which is like carbon monoxide. This can cause sid. They need fresh circulating air.
Just make sure the baby is warm, fed, not wet and stick to the same routine every night.
Do not rock him to sleep. Rock him a little then put him to bed while he is awake and say, "night, night" then walk out. He will get use to this routine if you STICK with it.

Katie - posted on 12/06/2009

If the problem is falling asleep on his own..i.e without you holding him or giving him a feed then that could be the source of problem and the goal is that he knows how to fall asleep on own without assistance. My two kids love going to bed and as we keep a reasonable steady routine and same time every night, it seems to work. I got them used to falling asleep on own during their day naps. I've heard making sure they are not too tired is also important otherwise they are too worked up. Remember every child is different and you need to find the system/routine which works for you....good luck!

Jacinta - posted on 12/06/2009

Quoting Alison:

my son sleeps better when he has the blanket over his head. before i did that he would wake up at 4am and now he dont wake up till 830 am

Alison thats really not a good idea as it increase the risk of SIDS (cot death)

Jacqui - posted on 12/06/2009

I wish I could help... My son only started sleeping through properly, on his own and his own bed when he turned 4 years. My daughter the same..she all of a sudden prefers to sleep with a nightie on and it has helped... I didn't realise she felt constricted in shorty pj's.

Chelsea - posted on 12/06/2009

my daughter used to sleep really good at night, but she would always wake up for some of her bottle. only like 1 or 2 times and i would just give it to her and she would feed herself and fall asleep on her on. when she turned one, i took her bottle away, and now she just gets a sippy of water, doesnt wake up at all. i dont know how it works but it could have something to do with gettin gas from the bottle in the middle of the night. or just thefact that she knew she wasnt gettin her bottle, gave her no reason to want and get up. but it worked amazing! no more bottles and sleepin all night=amazing!

Beth - posted on 12/06/2009

None of my children slept through the night until they were three! But I nursed them in bed with me so, it didn't matter...I was not greatly disturbed. However I have learned since that sometimes if their back is out of alignment that can cause sleeping problems. Get a good chiropractor and see if that helps him :O) And most important if he is eating a bunch of junk food and not fruits and veggies, he won't be sleeping well either! A cheap and easy way to get him more fruits and veggies is at www.bethanyhuntjuiceplus.com

Anna - posted on 12/06/2009

My son just turned one and this week, for the first time since he was born, I have had 5 full nights of sleep in a row. I don't know if it is just that he has got to the age where he is ready to sleep all night or if it was something I did. He sleeps with me and is still breastfeeding. I have been trying to get him out of the habit of nursing through the night, by just rubbing his back when he stirs in the night rather than offering him the breast. I let him nurse if he really starts getting upset but mostly he goes straight back to sleep just with the back rub. It seems to have helped.

Danielle - posted on 12/06/2009

scott reminds me of kaleb megz, ..but my dear no 2 children r the same, but the advice is always helpful...anyways, so what i used to do with kaleb was sing him a few lullaby's and have a nightlight in his room...not something bright but one that gives off a soft glow...oh and when i sing to him i gently rub his forehead it does seem to help...lol i still sing to him when he has trouble sleeping....oh and another thing is to make sure he has a steady sleep schedule..like i always put kaleb to bed at 8pm sharp...and i noticed that kaleb actually sleeps all night cause it's a natural routine for them....but like i said not every child is alike...hope this helps u cuz...luv yaa

Neana - posted on 12/05/2009

My son is two almost 3 and I still have trouble. I even stopped nap time to see if it helped and it didn't. I finally gave up on it but I don't allow him to get in bed with me and my hubby. I put his sleeping mat next to our bed and he sleeps there when he wakes up at 5 in the morning. I also have noticed he seems to not get up as much anymore since I started that though. Hope this helps some

Ronda - posted on 12/05/2009

I'm guessing he takes early naps. Or shorten his daytime naps. Ask your ped.aout giving him Benedryl for a few nights until he is resting well.

Alison - posted on 12/05/2009

my son is teething... so when he is tired he dont want to play he just wants to sleep but the only way he will sleep is with a blanket over his head and noise around him

Stephania - posted on 12/05/2009

You could make him stay up a little later, playing games-something that keeps him active to burn off more energy. Then put him to bed and see how that goes. He will appreciate the extra time with mom too:)

Alison - posted on 12/05/2009

my son sleeps better when he has the blanket over his head. before i did that he would wake up at 4am and now he dont wake up till 830 am

Tiara - posted on 12/05/2009

I would try the warm chamomile and lavender bath, warm milk and soft music in his room. Most importantly do not talk to him throughout the night and let him cry. You can check on him often, but no attention. The most you should say is "Shhh its nighttime, everyone is sleeping" and I would only even say that maybe once within the night but nothing more than Shhhh once again and I wouldn't do that all throughout the night. Its repetition with children.

Shannon - posted on 12/05/2009

The biggest thing is what have you tried? My oldest son did the same thing and I changed things around a lot with my other two and they are great sleepers for it. A lot of these suggestions are great and could work but I agree with just letting them cry it out. Never pick them up when they wake up, if you check on them just say "night night" and leave again. Its painful and not easy but just like Lakesha said they have to learn to comfort themself. Trust me I went through the same thing I understand EXACTLY how you feel. He still wakes up in the middle of the night wanting to lay in bed with me because of all the horrible mistakes I made.
I hope some of these suggestions helped.

Charlotte - posted on 12/05/2009

Be sure his tummy is full and bathe him in warm water with a scent of lavender. Then when you put him down stand over his crib and stroke his hair and speak to him in a low soft voice telling him how much you love him, and hum a song he likes. Worked with all of mine.( I have 3 kids,12grandkids and 3 great-grandkids.) Patience is always needed. It may take a while for him to get use to the new routine.

[deleted account]

try a lil chamomile tea in his bottle 1 hr b4 he sleeps & let him whine a lil bit it'll tire him out

Jessica - posted on 12/05/2009

do you have a routine with your child? Like singing a lullaby or reading a story to him after you have tucked him in? I started a routine around that age for my son it helps them relax and get used to having to go to bed. And i agree w/ the 'ignoring' the child. They will eventually will cry themselves to sleep... good luck!

Michelle - posted on 12/05/2009

Read Sheyne Rowleys Dream Baby Guide, the woman works miracles and the book covers a heap of things all based around good sleeping.

Laura - posted on 12/05/2009

cereal in milk right before bed so they have something heavy on the stomach so they don't wake up hungry halfway through the night.

Parys - posted on 12/05/2009

Hi im parys im new to this but i have a 13month old an i think that if yu just let him stay up as long as he can without a nap by time yur ready to go to sleep he will be closing his eyes before yu an he will sleep the whole night.

Jametta - posted on 12/05/2009

i used 2 give my daughter warm milk rite b4 sleep

Mekenna - posted on 12/05/2009

Try some quiet music in his room. I had the same problem with my son and I found that the constant noise of the radio seemed to help him sleep. I don't know if they just think they are not alone or what but it seemed to work for us. Good Luck!