My son is 3 and 6 months old and does very well with potty training when it comes to peeing but as far as pooping is another thing.. He will hold it for days on end I have been the to the Dr's about it and have tried jelly's so that he can't hold it and mild laxative as per Dr's advice. Still is able to hold it and does not want to poop I need help have tried everything just about to get him to do it but does not want to until its almost too late and you have to catch him going to do it in his pants.. His father and I are at our last wits about it and if anyone has any ideas HELP please..

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Brooke - posted on 12/27/2008

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My sister had the same problem with my nephew. He would actually ask to have a diaper put on we he needed to poop. My sister did a sticker chart and everytime he went poopy on the potty, he got a sticker. Once he got 5, he got to go pick out a new toy or go to Chuck E. Cheese's. It took a month and a couple of set backs but he did get by his 4th birthday! Hang in there and best of luck!

User - posted on 12/27/2008

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If you still have him only pampers its not going to work. What do you usually do when he uses it on himself?

[deleted account]

My daughter had a hard time pooping on the potty as well. For us we read the book called "Everyone Poops." We made it fun. We would read it everyday, then she would sit on the potty and we would read it, as well as other books. I brought a chair in and we would sit and read stories or draw pictures of things, etc....just keeping her there long enough for something to happen. The first time it happened she got scared. I just leaned in and held her and praised her. From that point on it was no problem. We used a sticker reward chart that we had made too which was helpful.
A friend of mine had the problem with her son. They used a sticker reward chart. If he would even go into the bathroom to poop even if just in a diaper or pull up, he got a sticker, if he would do it in his diaper or pull on while sitting on the potty he got two stickers. Once he was comfortable enough to go while sitting on the toilet then she cut a hole in a pull up and had him go. Believe it or not it worked and that was all it took.
I hope some of these ideas are helpful. Good Luck!

Margaret - posted on 12/27/2008

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omg my son was the same way that is so funny cause i thought i was the only one that use to have that problem all i did was just put supository up his bum once in a while my doctor told me to do it don,t worry it does not last for ever my son is now 9 and he is fine and does not remember a thing witch is nice cause i hated to do it to him but was told he could get really sick if i diant so good luck with that lol

[deleted account]

This is a power struggle and you're not going to win it! He's just not ready. A lot of kids are scared to poop in the potty. My pediatrician told me to explain to him that I had to put him back in a diaper, not as a punishment, but because it's too hard to clean up dirty underwear. Once we did that, within 2 weeks he decided to go into the bathroom and poop on his own. Giving him stool softeners, or fiber would not have made him go on the potty....it just would have given him looser stools in his pants. Once a kid is constipated from holding it though, you need to do that.

Kimberly - posted on 12/26/2008

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My oldest son was BM trained in February before he started Kindergarten. I have learned that some times it's a control issue and in my son's case his father and I were going through a divorce and only after the whole thing was over did he finally go in the potty. Others see their BM as a part of them and are afriad to see a part of them flushed. Give it time, patience and yes let him clean out his own unddies, not only will cleaning them out make it not so fun to BM in his unddies, but it will teach him responsibility.

Frankie - posted on 12/26/2008

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I was so afraid that my son was never going to learn this trick. A friend promised me that we would not send him to kindergarten still in diapers and told me to relax. He definitely had a setback when his sister was born when he was 3 and 1 month old. We finally did relax and just did the pull ups until he was ready and lo and behold, he decided to do it on his own. Actually, the big boy underwear helped, too. He only had one accident with peeing in his pants during the night and thought it was so yucky that it never happened again.

Myndi - posted on 12/26/2008

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My nephew had this problem! His was all psycological. Somewhere he decided that pooping was "gross", "eeew", "stinky" (sound like something we all say when we change those lovely treasures?). My sister-in-law had to try and correct this problem by really praising him when he would use the toilet. When I was a nanny and helping to potty train we would do "dances", (after washing our hands of course!) I would pick up the little boy and do the "conga" singing "Poopy in the potty!" Cheesy I know! But he loved it!

Laurie - posted on 12/26/2008

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I had a psychologist tell me, it is an issue of control sometimes. If you have a strong willed child, they may be now trying to gain control of their life (currently controlled by all the adults in his life) by controling the only thing they have left: pooping. It's an odd thing. I haven't experienced this with my kids (my youngest refuses to pee in the potty, whole other issue there) but a little girl I babysat would do that. I never had her when she finally let it go, but her mom would always warn me and give extra pull ups and sometimes underware if they were trying to do undies that day, "She's held it for x amount of days, keep a closer eye on her." She finally just up and started going in the potty after a year of fighting it. We couldn't figure out why except that the psychologist gave that theory of control.

Susan - posted on 12/25/2008

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Have you talked to him about eating food and drinking fluid, and where it goes after you swallow it, what your body does to use up what it needs to "go" (just like your car uses gas and NEEDS gas to run) and then when it is ALL used up, the "waste" (what your body doesn't need and what would spoil inside of him if it stayed there) IT (the poop) comes out...and we dispose of it in the toilet. Tell him history about toilets and outhouses, whatever it takes to get him to know that this has been going on for a long time with EVERYONE and he is no different in that respect. He likes to eat? Well, when he is hungry, his body is telling him so because his stomach may rumble, if he feels like he needs to poop, it is o.k. to do that, it is not part of HIM, but yes, it does come out of him just like the food goes in...FOOD is not HIM just like POOP is NOT him. Try to be natural about it, he obviously is a bit stressed about it, also. You want him to feel good about who he is, not what he does or doesn't do. SO Try not to be angry and frustrated with him because he wants to hold onto it . He's 3, and if you talk with him, 3 yr. olds don't understand everything but probably much more than we give them credit for.

Christine - posted on 12/25/2008

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My daughter was like that and then we finally just said that you couldn't go poop on the potty. I had her in undies for pee. Then when she had to poop, she would have to tell me and that I would put on a pullup. She did that for a few. Then I made her do everything on her own. She got no attention drawn to pooping in her diaper. She woudl go and then I wouold clean her and make her dress herself. She got bored with that and finally pooped on the potty.

Sandhora - posted on 12/25/2008

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I have juz come out from the same trouble.. all you need is a glass (250 ml) of HONEY, drink it on an empty stomach, it's either after 1-2 hours after breakfast or lunch. After the drink, my daughter will have the urge to poop, or else i will ask her to just sit in the toilet and wait there. If it still difficult to come out, i used injection (without the needle) of pure honey directly to her butthole, the honey inside her butt will smoothen out the stool and eventually everything will come out. I do this ritual everyday, so she can poop regularly once a day until 2 weeks, then i change the filling of the injection to water, but she doesn't know the different and still can poop too. So, until now i'm still using the injection of water to help her poop. Hope this could be of help to your problem.

Kim - posted on 12/25/2008

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My daughter had the same problem, uh 27 years ago. But nevermind that, I read somewhere that kids are afraid that a part of themselves is coming off that shouldn't. So, what I did was I relaxed, and I had to keep telling myself, "relax, already" and I let her go under the dining room table, which is where she wanted to go and I let her do it in her pants a few times. Eventually she got the message that it was pretty yukky having that mushy stuff in her clothes! The dining room table was a key component, don't know why. Anyway, God Bless! Your son will figure it out!

Stephanie - posted on 12/25/2008

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My son had a hard time pooping on the potty as well - not so much with the constipation, but he just refused. I let him go in his diaper in the bathroom and then we would empty his diaper into the toilet and flush it down together - he'd say "bye-bye poopie!" Then, I'd make him sit on the toilet in his diaper and poop. I even heard of someone cutting a hole in the diaper and having them sit on the potty. It is a huge fear and a huge control thing with them.



We also had "poop presents" - something little, let him pick out some toys in the dollar store - and everytime he went poop on the potty he would get one, working up to a big toy that he really wanted.



Finally, once he was going on the potty, he had a lucky rock that he kept with him and he would hold it while he pooped. He truly believed that his lucky rock helped him overcome his fear and helped him learn how to poop on the potty. I know it sounds silly, but at 3 1/2, their little minds are amazing things. We also heaped on the praise and told him we believed in him and we knew he could do it. He would hold his lucky rock and say "I think I can, I think I can" while he was pooping. Best of luck - it's a tough one!

Felicity - posted on 12/25/2008

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My friend a former nurse showed me a trick I found helped when you no they're really holding it in and look like they're going to burst sit them on the toilet and rub the base of their spine they find it really hard to gold it in and if he goes act like its the best thing he ever did, go really over the top with the praise.

User - posted on 12/24/2008

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My son is three and would pee but not poop in the potty. I got tired of him going in his underwear. I told him to tell me when he had to go so I could put a diaper or pull up on him. He would do #2 in the diaper and then I would change him and the underwear would go back on. The first few times I put it on him when he requested. The third time when he told me he had to poop and wanted the diaper I took him to the potty and made him go there. After going once he was not fearful of going in the potty anymore. He also got to go to the store and get a reward. This worked to because I knew when he really had to go and wasn't trying to guess. I hope this helps!

Kari

Nancy - posted on 12/24/2008

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I hear you so loud and clear on this one. My son was also 3 1/2 and he didn't want to.
Simple as that. He used to run away and stand in the corner, or hide behind the chair.
But, like most boys, he hates change. So, we worked it into his routine. before bathing each night, he got to sit on the toilet. Usually with a book, sometimes playing with a toy - running the car up the wall. We had a booster/ potty chair in front, so he could climb up by himself. And after a week, he did climb by himself. After 10 minutes, into the bath, and pull ups and story, then bed. we did this for 2 months. The breakthru came one day when my Husband wanted to go to the hardware store. I
told him, oh sorry, boys who wear pull ups arent allowed into hardware stores. he thought about it, and said 'oh' and ran off to play. after supper that night, we were sitting in the living room, and we heard the toilet flush. we looked at each other, and bolted for the bathroom. there he was, buck naked,sitting on the toilet, his clothes strewn all over the bathroom, and toilet paper flung all over the tub, sink, floor, everywhere, water flowing everywhere from the plugged toilet, and my son grinning, hi mommy I go poo, can I go shopping wif daddy? For months after, he always took all his clothes off to do his business... but notice he was closer to 4 years by then...you could say, we waited him out, until he was ready..

User - posted on 12/24/2008

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have you tried offering small rewards for when he goes to the bathroom? Like put a gum ball machine next to the potty and if he can go, he can get a gum ball or a candy or something you find suitable. You may also check to see if he has an aversion to the toilet seat--we had a friend whose child would not go either and they found out it was the hardness of the seat that bothered the child, they switched to a soft seat and it was magic!

Kristalyn - posted on 12/24/2008

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I had this problem as a child. I loved to pee in the potty, but when it came to pooping, I had problems with leverage, trying to pass the poop. It was much easier for me to poop in a diaper, because I was terribly constipated as a child, and I could use a wall. As gross as it is, I would suggest using a small potty to let him poop in, instead of trying on the big potty. Another option would be to get a seat (that covers the "big" toilet") that has footbars on it, so he can use his feet to help push.



I agree with another blogger down the way that suggested bennefiber, just make sure it isn't sweetened with aspertame. Use one of them without artifical sweeteners.



Apple juice is a nice, natural laxative. When my 14-year-old niece was visiting me, she was horribly constipated, and I asked my doctor what to do for her. He said apple or prune juice. Not many kids like prune juice, but my first daughter, long story, who I don't have contact with anymore, loved prune juice.



Another thought, from babysitting and personal experience, watch the amount of milk products he eats. Too much milk will constipate anyone (except my daughter, it sends her right into diarrhea, we don't have the pooping in pants issue, but we still have issues with pooping, she is very lactose intollerant though). Make sure he gets his recommended servings, but don't go overboard. If he eats cheese, which we tend to go to excess on, he probably doesn't have to have two glasses of milk.



What finally got me to go in the potty, was that my mom finally recognized that I was about to go, and she put me on the potty. I liked it sooooo much better than having a dirty butt.



I know it is a little late in the game for this, but if you want the design of the sprayer my dad put on his toilet and my sister's toilet, since she is using cloth diapers, I could post it, or email it.



Does anyone have any ideas about how to get my daughter to wipe her own butt? Her biological mother lets her get away with it when she is with her, so we have issues getting her to wipe herself, and she is almost 7. I know I could wipe myself at 3, when I was in preschool. She'll wipe herself at school, but not at home. I know she has very soft poop and that she is affraid of getting her hands messy, but it is getting to be too much.

Christy - posted on 12/24/2008

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This problem is quite common (as you may tell by now). As a mom I have never had to deal with it, but as a preschool teacher, many times. Different things work for different children. All of these ideas I have used. Just try and figure out what works best for you and your son. I've had children who I had to make them clean up their own mess get them to potty train and others, who just needed to stay in pull-up to poop, until they were ready to use the toilet. Just have patience!

User - posted on 12/24/2008

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well my nephew had the same pooping issues and what we did was reward him after he goes we used freezes but he only got it after he pooped , u can use what ever his favoret treat is it took us about a week but it worked....after that we couldnt keep him from the potty he was trying 3 times a day....

Ashley - posted on 12/24/2008

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y 4 year old had that problem also. he would hold it so long that he would get himself all bound up so we seen a doctor. they gave him miralax also. worked sooo good. it's flavorless powder, kids never know it's there. it worked. the fear just went away for him as he eralized it wasnt goin to hurt so much and he no longer needed to see a doctor regularly for enema's. good luck!

Liza - posted on 12/24/2008

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kids all do it at their own personal time! try something fun, like around the time he goes each day let him sit on the toilet with a lolipop until it happens or he finishes the pop.

another idea is to dump it into the toilet from the diaper and let him see it in there and make a big deal about flushing it away etc. reward him for it! it just might work with time

Misty - posted on 12/24/2008

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Seriously I think it is just going to happen when they are ready. So just allow the pull up for pooping and the potty for peeing. It will get rid of all the stress that is being caused by the struggle. it will make him feel soo much better. And dont think its your child or you. It really is just when they are ready

Misty - posted on 12/24/2008

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My son was 2 when we started to try. We would tell him it was bad to ppo in his diaper. So he would hold it for days. So we too had to go to the doctor for the laxitives. We tried for a while but I think we scared him to think that it was bad to poop in his diaper. So he wouldnt poop. The best thing that worked for us was to allow him to put a pull up on when he had to poop. I Know its a step back but at least he wont get sick from holding it. And then when he is ready for the potty he will tell you. I don't know if this was helpful. Good luck. Maybe try a chart. if he poops in the potty 3 times he gets a prize or some kind of initiative to go in the potty.

Alana - posted on 12/23/2008

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Hi there,

My son also was like this. He would hold on to it and wouldnt go to the toilet except to pee. was getting a bit worried until after talking to him I figured out the problem. When he pooped in the toilet it splashed water up at him and scared him. By simply putting toilet paper in the toilet first it stopped splashing and little by little his confidence grew. Dont know if that helps, maybe a medical thing, dosent hurt to try something new though

Lindy - posted on 12/23/2008

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Boys tend to have a hard time with BM's. My son is 8 1/2 and he has autism. He had a terrible time with this, he also would hold it for days. What I did is started giving him Epsom Salt baths every other night with quite warm water. I mean very warm but not enough to burn or cause discomfort. I am not sure if this will work for your little guy, but it worked wonders for my son. It relaxed him, I just let him play in the water for about 15-20 minutes. Because Epsom salt is a natural laxative, it would be a matter of at most a couple of hours, he would go and clean out his system. It is also a great natural detoxifier. He is such a happier kid afterwards, he felt much better. If you try it out, just keep a good watch on him after the bath so you can catch him before he messes his pants.
I will have to say, potty training him has taken years and he still occasionally well have accidents, but very rarely.
Hang in there, it will get better.

Samantha - posted on 12/23/2008

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hi! i had the same problem with my daughter- and we tried the laxitive thing and that was a lot to keep track of ( times, amounts, making sure she had enough to drink ect.) we acctually read her the book "everybody poops" and the Elmo potty movie, and for some reason it helpped it make sence. stuffed creatures are more belivable to 3 year olds:) good luck!

Jenn - posted on 12/23/2008

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My son also has this issue. I haven't tried miralax yet. I tried prune juice, which seemed to help for a while, but then he decided he liked it and drank A TON of it and ended up with diarrhea for 2 days! Is miralax safe to give little ones like that? It must be since so many people have mentioned it. Maybe after the holidays when I have time to watch him for a few days I'll try that. Good luck...

Michelle - posted on 12/23/2008

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My daughter is 3 and we are doing very well on the potty peeing that is but i cant seem to get her to poop.. she fights me, yells, kicks and runs away... we have tried all the prizes and candy she can eat, but still nothing. She will hold it for days also and i give in and put on a pull up and then she goes.. i have spoken with the dr's and they all do not seem worried about it. they just keep telling my "when she ready"... every time she ask for a pull up on i tell her that she needs to try to go on the pooty first and then if you dont poop on the potty you can wear your pull up... but 9 times out of 10 it ends up a fight and chasing her around the house naked, just to sit on the potty. But i hope one day soon it happens! best of luck... keep us up to date if you find out any thing that works please

Allison - posted on 12/23/2008

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My son is 2 1/2 and we tried and tired potty training and peeing was great but when it came to pooping.. well we also had many visits to the docots tried lax and nothing worked. We finally just put a pullup on him and told him to go in about 2 weeks he was tired of having to wear a pullup and when he was ready he went poop now we have no problems :) hope this helps!! ... also miralax reallly helped soften it up so he could go better and it wouldn't "hurt" like he said it did. We did lots of prizes and candy from the prize box when he did go poop and when he has no accidents for a month we went to chucky cheese (a kids play thing) and marked down the days until we got to go again.. best of luck!

Sivan - posted on 12/23/2008

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My older son had issues and would hold it- turns out its a bit genetic..anyway, we started to add a teaspoon of benefiber powder to his chocolate milk in the morning. No Miralax, it can be too harsh for some kids- just fiber- you can even add it to your cooking, since its a positive thing for the whole family's health.

Its totally normal for boys to have issues with pooping, so don't stress..and the posts that mention rewards are spot-on- kids LOVE stickers and rewards. You could try making a chart with progressively larger time frames before giving the BIG reward. (4 stickers, then 5, then 6, and so on). Justso you know- my 3yr old gets frustrated when he can't get into 'his' bathroom- and can't make it to the one in my room(10 feet away); so while you're in the process, politely pressure other family members to use another potty when possible. GOOD LUCK

Uyen/Winn - posted on 12/23/2008

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Donna-
Holy smokes, that was my son EXACTLY. He was finally pooping on the potty at 4 yrs. and 1 month, so your son WILL get there. (My son's autistic so they say it takes a little longer... what with sensory and behavioral issues and all.)

My son was scared. Scared that it will hurt, scared of the noise, scared of the whole thing, even though he saw his older brother doing it on the toilet, his dad, and me...
He was constipated. Held it for 4 days at a time. My husband would cave, throw a Pull-up on him and within 2 seconds, there'd be a truck-load of poop in the Pull-up. I've cut and thrown out about 2 dozen pairs of underwear that he pooped in. He would not take anything with Miralax in it.

The only thing that worked for me was first, I had to stop by husband from sabotaging it. Then I made me son go bottomless as soon as he got home from school. I have 3 kids (6, 4, and 2) so it was a lot of work to be "on him" but I never let him out of my site. I would follow him around if it looked like he needed to poop, then scoop him up and put him on the toilet. Over and over, for days. And when it was my husband's turn to watch him, my husband was not on top of him and the next thing you know, there's poop on the carpet, and we'd start the cycle again! My son even snuck upstairs, put on an underwear and poop in it. He'd grab a pull-up from the drawer in his room and poop in the pull-up. So I knew that he knew. He was just scared.

So, I tried again and on the 4th day, he ran to the toilet and said "I have to poop. Bye mom." Nothing came out, but I gave him lots of praise. "Good for you. Great job getting on the toilet!" Hugs, kisses, high-fives. And an hour later, he runs to the toilet and says "I gotta go poo-poo. Bye Mom." And a little turd came out and he said in his wildest amazement "It doesn't hurt??!! Yeah, I did it!!"

So be consistent. Think of it as a week or two of teaching him and important life-long skill and hunker down and be on top of him. The more consistent you are that "Poop goes in the toilet" the faster he will learn. Have him go bottomless, catch him, and put him on the toilet until he understands that 1. it does not hurt, 2. it's not scary, 3. he gets rewards.

I wish you the best of luck. You've got my full support.

And kisses, high-fives, kudos from his older brother, yeah! We made a huge deal out of it and he got 5 things that had been sitting there on the counter that he would earn if he pooped on the potty.

And every night for 2 weeks, he got a prize from the prize box for pooping on the potty. And he never soiled his underwear on from that day.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Laurie - posted on 12/23/2008

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My son also had a problem with BM's on the potty. The dr. was concerned that he held it due to fear of pain and/or change. We used Miralax (which is now over the counter) I believe.

What I did to help get him to have a BM on the potty was keep track of what time he pooped everyday (while wearing a pull-up). Yes, you may need to use these for a while to get a schedule down:( After I was certain on the times that he had a BM after using the Miralax laxative, I would place him on the potty with a video on his lap, or a book etc. then I would sit with him until he had a BM. If it ran way to long I would let him play for a bit then call him back to the potty. With the lax. he would go everyday.



When he did go and it was on the potty we would have a huge "potty party" then eat some candy and call Daddy at work. We would also continue to talk about it through-out the day. I would tell him how proud I was of him for going on the potty...etc.

Hope this helps.. best of luck You're not alone in the potty struggle.

Suzanne - posted on 12/23/2008

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You are already going to the doctor so it shouldn't be anything medical. This may sound like a mean mom but some kids don't quite get what they are doing. This happened to atleast 3 of my 4 kids and what I did was have them "clean out" their underwear! You know dumping it down the toilet then running their underware under the faucet to clean it out. You may not want to try it but it did work for me.

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