My son's father

Teresa - posted on 03/22/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I recently took my son to meet his father. His father hasn't seen him since he was a baby and he's now thirteen years old . He hasn't really made an attempt to contact his son since he's been back home. He called one day and my son called him back after missing the call , he told him that he would call him back because he was in the middle of doing something but he never did . I just hope my son is ok and not bothered by this. I didn't really get a chance to talk to my ex when I took him for the visit and he really didn't spend anytime with his son. I just want to know where his head is right now . I just can't stop thinking about how he treated my son & I in the past. I just hope he is not blaming me for all the time he's missed with our son but he practically pushed me out of his life. My son never got to meet his grandmother because she died last year unfortunately and I just found his father. His fathers family all say that she died asking about my son and wondering where he was at , I called her soon after I left and told her where I was and gave her the address but never heard anything from her so I thought that she didn't want anything to do with us but from what everyone says I thought wrong. His mother seemed nice at times but all if a sudden she started acting really mean towards me and that's another reason why I just left and thought I wasn't welcomed anymore , I wonder did his mother just got a change of heart all of a sudden after she realized I was gone and really wasn't trying to be found because I was so hurt.....sorry for such a long post I've just got a lot on my mind tonight and need some kind of response .


Cecilia - posted on 03/24/2013




Your son is old enough to ask him how he feels. Why not try that? Or are you saying you're wondering what your ex is having problems with? If so- honestly I want to say too bad for him. He can choose to let go of the past and be in the present or not. If your son is 13 this means the father is now plenty old enough to learn to deal.

As far as feeling bad about the grandmother. She was given your address. She choose not to use it. Not your fault.

Realize you've given people the opportunity to do what they needed to do. They choose what to do with it. Be it the grandmother before or the father now. If he doesn't call back, that is his loss. He is missing out on a child who loves him despite the past. He will be the one missing out. As much as you might want him in your son's life, you can't force him to do the right thing.

I am speaking from experience. My son is 15. His father has our phone number. He called once. I asked him to call that one time. I asked him to wish his son a happy birthday (which he had forgot about.) When he called he told my son he would call every weekend. I told my son I hope he does, but if he doesn't remember I love him enough for 4 dads. I can't make him step up to do the right thing. All I can do is be there for my son. The same thing I have done for the last 15 years. My son told me that he wanted to like his dad, but he doesn't know if he can.

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