My sons father treats me like complete dirt- Advice?

Ashley - posted on 06/27/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




I ended our three year relationship about a year ago after the continuous drinking, drug use, lying, emotional and eventually physical abuse. Hes never hurt or done any of that in front of our son as far as im concerned. But yet he still uses hurtful words to me, talks down and is just rude in general. He barely sees his son and usually gives me attitude when I ask if he wants to. I just cant take it anymore. And his side of the family is no help what so ever.


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Ev - posted on 06/29/2014





I do understand what you are saying and in going for the custody and such, keep a few things in mind:

The judge will make note of anything that needs to be addressed so have proof of the father's actions if you think you need to have supervised visits.

The court's orders will bind both of you to the same things so if he goes against it or you do you both will be held accountable for it.

The visitation is separate of the child support. If the judge sets regular visits and the father does not adhere to them, you can take him to court for it but it might be a long road to get him to apply himself to see his child. You can not force someone to do things and even with court orders, some dads or moms even, do not follow through on their end of things.

Just be sure to make your child the larger focus of your life. He is going to need you always.

This comes from a mom who had to make some choices where her kids were concerned and let their father be the primary care parent in joint custody. I did it for their sakes and peace of mind. But I remained a big part of their lives. Today I share a very close bond with both of them.

Ashley - posted on 06/29/2014




I dont have custody yet. But plan on filing soon. Because this back and forth with seeinghis son is unacceptable. There needs to be consistency. Thanks for your advice. Im just so very tired of the way he speaks to me, sometimes in front of our son. I wish there could be consequences for his actions

Jodi - posted on 06/27/2014




You need to take the high road and ignore it. Take a step back and stop taking it personally. You can't force him to see his son, and he's made his choice. Just say, well, if you want to see him, you know where I am, and leave it at that. How he treats you is irrelevant, as long as it isn't in front of your son. So just stop contacting him. Let him contact you.

On that note, do you have court ordered custody and visitation in place?

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