Brooke - posted on 09/03/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi moms. I am a young mom, first time to a beautiful son. I was in a relationship for only 3 mnths before I was pregnant. He flipped out, made an appt. for m to have an abortion and I was going to go too. I couldn't do it thugh and chose life instead. We then continued our relationship for @ another 2 months, clearly it wasn't working. He abandoned me during my pregnancy, never went to any appts., wasn't even there for the birth and I found out when I was 6 months preg. he cheated on me with an ex of his. This is a 44yr old "man" and has a pretty high rank in the army. He was still married to his wife and failed to tell me that until after he found out I was preg. Anyways, he was coming home from Afganistan, we started t talk again bfore this, and I was talking to a family military advocate during his fligt back to the states. Me and her were having a convrsation 1 day and she thought I was sucicidal, which I wasn't and she called the police on me andtold them I took a whole bottle of pills. They made me go to the hospital for observation, I was there for an hr. and was released b/c she gave a false report. 20 min. after I left, he came down with his parents and took my son. My parents fought them and the police, calledmy lawyer and my laweyer said to let them take my son. I still wonder why. There was no custody in place from the courts and possession is 9/10ths of the law. I got home that night and went upstairs to check on my son ad fond his crib empty. I was slapped in the face, punched in the stomach and stabbed in the heart atg the same time. This was a year ago and I still don't have my son. And 2700.00 later an my lawyer is doing nothing. I am told what t do at anytime with anything concerning my son, he got full custody, he makes my life a living hell, I a under supervision a all times wen I am w/ my son, and I have lost all hope. This consumes me all day, everyday. I am in so much pain. I have so much anger as well. Any advise from nyone. I also feel like a failure b/c I failed my son, my only child. How could people do this to other people?


Ariana - posted on 09/03/2013




At this point I would find a councellor for you to talk to who would be able to assist you for your situation better.

They will be able to give you advice on what you need to do to get more control over the situation.

Would there be any way for you to find a mediator to speak between you and your ex? There is probably so much anger on both sides from this situation (I assume) that you two probably cannot talk reasonably. Maybe there is a way a mediator could help you get any points you have across calmly and back the other way.

I suggest this because you have already been put through the court system, maybe if you can get someone in you will be able to work out some things.

I hope some of that helps, and I know it's tough but just focus on the time you get to spend with your son and making sure he's content and never say anything negative about his father or their family in front of him.

Once again I would definitely talk to a therapist or councellor referring this and just be straight-forward about wanting advice. Ask them to help with these things:
1. coping with all of this because it must be very overwhelming
2. getting to see your son as often as possible and all aspects that go with that
3. hopefully finding a way for you to communicate with your sons father or finding someone who can assist in that.
4. And being the best parent you can be while you do see your son (which I'm sure you do already but it's always helpful to get support from others).

I hope that is helpful.

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