My teenage daughter is disrespectful, breaks the rules and blames everything wrong in her life on her father's wife and my new husband! How do we get through to her?

Tracy - posted on 10/28/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




Since April this year my daughters have been living with myself and new husband full-time. Prior to that we had a 50/50 arrangement with their dad that seemed to be working. However, after a disagreement with their step-mom the girls came to live with us full-time. The tension with their step-mom has been building for a long time. Now I'm finding my youngest daughter is beginning to exhibit just as much unruly temperment toward my husband as she had been toward her step-mom. I've tried to support the girls by taking them to a counselor and supporting their relationship with their dad, which has been very stressful since leaving his house. Now I'm finding myself needing advise to avoid the same situation from happening in my house.

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Ariana - posted on 10/29/2012




You might want to give some more specifics of what the disagreement with the step-mom and what behaviors exactly she is showing.

If your daughter is showing as much tension with her step-dad as with her step-mom than maybe you need to go back to a 50/50 deal? If SHE is the one causing a lot of friction she may just be acting out against the easiest person for her to be angry at (the step-parents). She's using a scapegoat to get her frustration out.

What exactly is she doing/saying to him that is unruly? It's easier to get advice for specific behaviors.

If she's speaking rudely to him I would have her get sent to her room every time she speaks disrespectfully until she is ready to apologize and say what she wanted in a respectful manner.

She definitely needs to treat both of her step-parents better.

Carmen - posted on 10/29/2012




you need to have ground need to explain to your daughters that while they live under your roof, and you pay the bills they will respect everyone in the house..your ex husband and you and both your new husband and his new wife need to get together and write up some ground rules that are the same at both places so the girls dont end up playing you off against each other..if the rules are the same at both places and the consequences are the same at both places they wont think they can play one parent off against the other - you need to be a united front on this if you want to keep your daughters under control..- you can't have children growing up that are disrepectful to adults..because even if it may only be your significant other may end up being teachers or other people outside the household that they disrespect as well..and that would not be good..when you have written the rules sit the girls down and tell them the rules and the consequences if they are broken..this way they will see you as united and will more than likely pull their heads in and start behaving..good luck

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