my two girls are driving me to tears!!

Paula - posted on 11/24/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have two beautiful girls 5 and 8 that fight constantly! It does not matter what we do such as grounding, taking away privledges and treats however it never stops. The main issue is temper with both of them for smal things such as toys which has driven me to tears many times. I am in desperate need for ANY other suggestions that you may have. Funny thing is they are angels at school and other adults but with their own parents tend to push the barrier that much further.


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Ariana - posted on 11/25/2012




Next time they fight, go STOP, and bring them over to the smallest room in your house (the bathroom even) and tell them they need to figure things out. At this age you'll probably have to facilitate some of it, but just have them tell whats going on and have THEM work it out. This means you don't intervene (even if you assume ones right and ones wrong) let them figure things out. Plus if they're shuffled off into another room to figure things out, you won't be there to hear them argue, and it becomes a lot less fun. Make them work the situation out, if they leave the room in 5 minutes, ask them, what's your solution? If they don't have one, or you ask and one kid seems dejected, tell them to go back until everyone is happy.

Also for fighting over toys/items the simple solution is to take it away. Just ask, can you two sort this out or do I need to solve this for you? You can give helpful suggestions like 'do you have a toy similar she can play with, can you two share it?' etc. but if they can't come up with something just take the fought over item away. Problem solved. I also don't believe kids should have to give up a toy they've just started playing with, but a lot of times parents don't see what's going on in another room so you can't assume one kid had it first so it's up to them to work it out.

Like I said, try to help with suggestions if you can, but ultimately they need to go to a room and sort the problem out on their own. If one kids yelling she's always taking my stuff, or w/e then they can go in a room and figure out how to solve this problem, away from you and everyone else. If they're physically fighting have them go to seperate rooms and wait until they're both calm enough to talk it out and come up with a solution good for both of them.

If you try this a couple times they might think fighting isn't worth all the hassle, or they'll go to a small room every time they decide to argue, either way it's getting worked out right?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/25/2012




Stop fighting with them. Start playing with them. Teach them how to share. Be thoughtful with them, and they will in turn be thoughtful with eachother.

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