My unborn child's grandparents

Eleanor - posted on 02/12/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




I recently found out I'm pregnant with my ex's child. I'm almost 10 weeks gone. I am 20 and so is my ex and we are both at uni. He broke up with me at the end of December and started dating someone literally the day we broke up. I told him about the pregnancy 2 weeks ago. He made up loads of excuses to make me go through with a termination. I said no, he blocked me out of his life completely.

Last week on Tuesday I sent a letter from where I live (England) to Hong Kong (this is where his parents live). The letter was just me saying that I am not after their money and I am not trying to get back at my ex, I simply want to know if they want to be a part of their grandchilds life. I said in the letter that either way I understand, but could they respond to my letter just so I know where they stand. 10 days after sending the letter I haven't had a reply. His parents have known about this for 2 weeks now. Apparently when they found out I Was pregnant they were really angry at my ex and told him it was not their responsibility to support the child financially, it was his. I have never even met his parents, never even spoken to them which makes this even more confusing. I messaged y ex's brother on Facebook a couple of days ago just asking if he knew whether or not his parents had recieved the letter. He saw the message immediately but just ignored it.

Am I being paranoid here? Do I need to give them more time to respond? Surly they would respond just to let me know right? I mean if they want nothing to do with their grandchild that's fine but it's just polite to let me know. Should I write another letter? I have my first scan next week and am tempted to send them another letter with a copy of the scan included.


Jodi - posted on 02/12/2016




You sent the letter, they have the information. Leave it at that. If they want to know the child, they will do something about it. There is no need to continue to write to them.

Also, can I just say, you told them to reply by letter. It's only been 10 days. Letters take a while to get places.


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Dove - posted on 02/12/2016




It's only been 2 weeks and your baby isn't going to be here for approximately 30 more weeks. I don't think anyone can accurately predict what anyone else involved in this situations is thinking.

[deleted account]

I think it's clear that they do not want anything to do with you or the baby. It's possible that their son has told them horrible things about you. It's possible he is claiming it isn't his. It was nice of you to offer to have them be a part of your childs life but they aren't required to respond or care. It's just how it is. When your child is born, make sure you file for support and that you get a paternity test to prove he is the father. It's possible that those results will have an effect on everyone.

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