Naked pictures

Samantha - posted on 11/04/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Last week I took away my daughters phone and while I had had it she got a text saying " nice body" and I was a little curious so I checked it out and my 13 year old daughter sent and naked picture of herself to a guy and I was wondering how do I talk to her about this and if this is normal for 13 year old girls


Rebekah - posted on 11/04/2013




I wouldn't call this "normal" behavior, even though there are other girls out there who have done this (celebrities too!). Flirting is normal... being interested in boys is normal. Exposing your body to this extent is poor judgment with potentially serious consequences. Explain to her that this is child pornography. Let her know that if someone else is found in possession of her photo, that person could land in serious legal trouble. Also let her know that once its out there in cyberspace, she no longer has control over it and it could be spread all over the place, to people she knows and strangers alike. Does she really want to risk her reputation like this?

Again, she is not the first to have done this, but I wouldn't minimize it by chalking it up to "typical teen behavior," because its more extreme than that. If I had a teenage daughter who did this I'd be really upset that she felt she had to go to this measure to attract attention. I'd be confiscating her phone and seeing if there was a way to disable the camera until trust could be established again. I'd also try to encourage my daughter to find self-validation in other ways...academics, sports, hobbies, healthy friendships, etc, rather than demeaning herself this way. I know our society is very sexualized and there is a lot of pressure for girls to step into this role, but they need some direction about self-respect and well as a frank conversation about consequences for these behaviors.

Ev - posted on 11/04/2013




This is not normal! Do not even think this is normal. There is something going on and you need to get to the bottom of it. You need to sit her down and talk to her about how wrong it is to be showing herself in photos online or via phone. Tell her its against the law! Have you not heard the stories in the news about the sexting that the kids are doing and how the law is getting involved? Teens as well as adults can get into big trouble over it. Also, if it lands on say Facebook from someone else, what does that say about her as a person let alone it will maybe keep her out of college because they do take that into consideration. It could also keep her out of a job she might want someday. The ramifications are vast. She also needs to know that it just plain is not right to show off her body to just anyone. Its a private thing and needs to be treated with respect just as she needs to learn self respect. She needs to know these things. Then I would take that phone from her and not give it back to her ever. I would make sure that computers are in the main living areas of the home and used only for homework and that you are able to look over her shoulder to see what she is doing. Take her off all social websites, make sure to use parental controls on the computer and change all passwords weekly. Make sure to talk to her about this as she gets older. She has to understand this is not a good idea.


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