Need Advice!!

Azalya - posted on 10/14/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am thinking about, well feel like i need to leave my husband, but i am pregnant with my first child and very scared about if i can make it on my own. I cant decide if its the right thing to do. he is verbally abusive and has recently started getting very violent. i dont want my kid to be exposed to that and i feel i deserve better too but its just a lot of changes all at once and im afraid i cant handle it. has anyone done anything life changing while pregnant with their first?


Bobbie - posted on 10/14/2012




So brave and so right to think about leaving. I would put it to you this way. Aren't you just as afraid of staying? With him becoming violent are you not a risk of him harming you AND the unborn child? This sadly happens often.

While pregnant would be the best time to make positive changes I would think. You would be able to secure yourself before you have two people in this world to protect from him.

There is an order of protection and an ex.parte order. I have placed the website of information on how both work and what steps there are to take. Don't leave without an order of protection. This order will not only protect you but your property from him as well. In addition any medical costs or hospitalization caused by him will be court ordered for him to pay. In the process of gaining an order of protection a judge can also determine and set custody, visitation and financial support orders. With this order he won't have wiggle room to hurt you financially or threaten to take the baby because he is also the parent. As stated in website they will serve him the papers and read him his rights and then spell out all of the judges orders. This will be enforced to keep him away from not only you but daycare, babysitter, family and job as well as where you live.

Please read the website info it states that if you have been abused you can file an order, so zero violence is tolerated with any physical abuse grounds for a protection order. So glad you are reaching out on this site. We can be here to support you.

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