Need Advice about babys father!?

Amber - posted on 02/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am currently 16 weeks pregnant and I have not spoken to the babys father for about two months now. I found out I was pregnant a week after I broke up with him. Long story short, I found out he lied about pretty much everything, little stuff, big stuff, pretty much for no reason. He's 27 years old and I was only with him for two months. I was a week into my birth control when I found out I was pregnant. TMI alert: when we had sex a few times he would purposely not pull out and he refused to use condoms (I know, I should've done something about it) I felt like he was trying to get me pregnant so I would stay with him and he would have the family he always wanted. Well that didn't happen and now hes being vindictive. I didn't like the way he started to treat my daughter (from my previous marriage) he immediately considered himself her "dad" and overstepped me on things that had to do with her. he would play to rough with her, throwing her around and such and when she would cry in the middle of the night he snatched her out of her crib and started hitting her on her back really hard, like you would to burp a baby but way too hard, he would get frustrated with her very easily and he always wanted me to get a babysitter so we could go to the bar or hang with his friends. he has the mindset of a 16 year old. when I met him he was sober from alcohol and drugs only a month. he drank so much he lost most function in his kidneys and liver and was urinating blood. I don't think any recovering alcoholic should be hanging out at a bar or with drinking friends. i tried to stay civil with him but he would text me n come over 24/7 n wouldn't give me time to breathe. he told me hes watching me 24/7 and that hes going to interfere with any future relationship i have cuz "no other man will be around his kid" can he do this? he also said he will file domestic violence charges against me and call cps just to try to win in court since he now wants 50/50 custody. what are his chances of that? we will never be able to get along or agree. i told him i want two visits a week for a few hours until the child is old enough to do every other weekend and on a Wednesday for 3 hours and then splitting holidays n such. i just don't want my child to feel like he/she doesn't belong anywhere n is constantly uprooting. i don't want to have to see him so i was going to have my mom do drop offs n such. once he threatened me with my kids i lost all respect for him. im so freaked out ill give birth n hell be there 24/7 trying t stalk me again n dictate my life. i wasn't going to have him be at the birth because of the stresss he causes me, i have terrible anxiety already as it is and he makes it worse. i almost miscarried because of it. i was going to give birth with my mom in the room and have my bonding time with the baby before i have to deal with him and all his bs. does that make me a bad person? im trying to do whhats best for me and the baby. i know the baby needs both parents but i don't want him interfering with my happiness and ability to move on and him stalking me and being immature with our cchild. and i would never want to be away from my child 50% of the time unless he/she was older and preferred to do that. what do u think his chances are of being able to interfere with future relationship if i ever have one and how much visitation hell get.


Michelle - posted on 02/23/2014




You need to get yourself a lawyer ASAP!!!!! Get to court and get orders in place. Unfortunately, he is the Father and has rights. He won't get 50/50 straight away, especially if your breastfeed. If you are worried for your safety then file for a restraining order.
You are the one that didn't insist on him using a condom so you have to accept that he will be in your life for at least the next 18+ years.

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