Need help

Claudia - posted on 01/16/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hello, I'm a single mother of 7 children. My oldest is in prison and has been for 6 months. My 2 son is working and was attending college and working now and also is in Taekando my 3 daughter is no longer living with me. My 4 is 15 and is in Taekando and has a learning disability my 5 is my daughter and is in all advanced placement class and is the only one that helps me but is now fed up my 6 is a son and is 6 and my 7 is a daughter and is almost 2 years old. My oldest is not home but in prison and left a child which I take care of sometimes. My oldest daughter left the house because she never like living with me and hates me. My children hate rules. They don't like to clean and pick up after themselves. They are filthy and they talk back to me and cussed me out and yell at me when I repeated remind them to pick up after themselves. You see I hate mess. I hate a dirty house. Who doesn't ? I don't know. I don't know if I'm right for feeling this way but get really stressed out when they don't pick up after themselves. I like everything neat and clean. Yes I'm poor but not dirty. So that's a big problem for me because I clean from morning to night and even in the middle of the night if I happen to wake up to use restroom or fix a bottle for babies. I do laundry everyday and fold it and separate it and hand it to them and they throw it back in the hamper or on the floor or all different places in the house just so they won't hang it. My 15 year old likes to eat cereal and leave bowl and spoon under bed or sofa. My 19 year old gets very upset when I ask him to throw trash or clean his restroom. I have to drive him everywhere 7 days a week like to school , work, and Taekando , and no he doesn't cooperate with money at all. I don't expect him to. I wanted him to focus on college not work so he could hurry up and support himself and get ready for life. My 15 year old constantly talks back to me and laughs. When I try to punish them like telling them they can't go to Taekando they will yell cuss at me and get violent and break stuff kick stuff and even lift a hand. They have slapped me and kicked me in the past. My 6 year old father is violent and abusive and when he goes to visit him he also wants to treat me the way he sees his dad and siblings So he doesn't aak for stuff when he needs it. He demands it by yelling and kicking. Even my baby scratches me and slaps me. Yes I know I don't have. I don't have control of my kids and home. I actually feel stupid and helpless. I don't go out with friends since I don't even have time to make friends. I don't ate either. Everywhere I go my kids are with me. My kids are my world and all I do and live for is them. But seen my 20 year old son in prison scares me because it's not a safe place to be even people like to tell me that he's safe in there versus the streets. Well in prison he gets beat up all the time and I'm scared they gonna kill him there. I do not wanna see my other children there or in similar situations. I can't control them. I am so lost. If my kids can't respect me and fear me not how will they be with society. I need help please. I cry everyday and all the time. I feel like life is a torture living it this way.


View replies by

Michelle - posted on 01/17/2015




It looks like you haven't been a very strong parent. Children need rules and it's your job to set them and enforce them.
It sounds like you give in whenever they complain so they have learned that they can do what they want.
It's too late for a lot of them but you can start with the younger ones. You tell them the rules and the punishment for not obeying them. If they break the rules then YOU follow through with the punishment you have set and DON'T BACK DOWN!!!!
You need to be a parent.

Moxieblau - posted on 01/16/2015




Well you really shouldn't have to worry about the 20 year old , it's good you care about his safety but he can take on the world, and it seems to me he's not prepared for that, so he needs to find professional help so you won't have so much not your plate same for your 19 year old, and SHOW THEM WHOS BOSS! Your the mom in this situation your the domanant of your household, your little one needs discipline ! Tell him who's boss!because beleive it or not, children want discipline, they want, to be punished they just expell it in a childish way that nerve wracking us adults, you can do it!

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