Need help surviving my in-law's chaotic home

Lisa - posted on 12/16/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi! I need advice for surviving a week long stay at my in-laws house. My daughter is 1 year old and is still crawling. My MIL is physically disabled and almost totally dependent on my FIL. Their house is filthy because my FIL doesn't have the energy to keep up with cleaning. Typically, there are pills laying all over the floor, dog food spilled, dirty water, etc. If I have refused to take my shoes off while visiting, I certainly don't want my baby crawling on their floors. They watch inappropriate television and use terrible language. They constantly raise their voices in arguments. Their dog never stops barking barking and it scares my daughter. Fortunately, we only visit a few times a year because we live out of the area. My husband shares my concerns but doesn't enforce our preferences strongly enough when around them. If I keep bringing up the conversation, it triggers arguments between us. He would absolutely refuse to stay in a hotel, even if we could afford one. We do help with the cleaning, but its never enough and my daughter will not tolerate sitting on our laps for too long. I can take her into a different room, but I don't have it in me to be anti-social when they see their only grandchild so little. So what can I do to make our trip more enjoyable? Thank you in advance for your help!


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I would say be a little more tolerant, it is a only a few days. I know how you feel with my first child I was so picky and I couldn't stand even my husband kissing him on the face. Maybe have something for your daughter to keep her busy in one place if possible. If they are capable of getting out of the house, maybe plan something together outside the house.

Sheila - posted on 12/16/2013




Wow, I can totally relate to you on this one. My husband and I live with is parents my in laws. They are the nastiest people I have ever been around. my Father in law is a Diabetic and has to take pills and insulin and so forth. My daughter is now walking but when she was crawling around on the floor I went off and I still do to this day about pills laying around. it is so easy for us to look away for one sec and our child swallow a pill. The worse that has happened to me is my FIL filling a needle full of his insulin then laying it on the couch and my daughter getting a hold of it and sticking herself with it then rushing to the er cause she quit breathing. She is much better now thank god but you can never be to careful.

If I were you I would put my foot down and say okay fine you want to stay with your parents that is great but I will not under any circumstances have her in a filthy house where she can not play and crawl around. I understand it is his parents but he needs to be more concerned about his child. If the house is to dirty for my kid to play then you should not be there. Just being in a situation like that for even a week is enough to expose the baby to serious germs which could lead into serious health problems later in life. You being the mother need to be the strong one and step up and say enough is enough. I understand they don't get to see her that often but if they want to see her then they need to clean their house and keep it clean. Both of my in laws are Disabled. Only my mother in law cleans up after my FIL;. So same situation but different on who is doing things. The main thing is keeping your child safe and in a clean environment. The best thing I can say to you is put your foot down no matter how mad your other half gets you have to put your child first.

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