need help with 3yr old that back talk, hits and not listen to his mom...m

Alison - posted on 08/04/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I need some advices on what to do with a 3yr old that won't listen and thinks it's ok to hit his mommy. My husband and I have been separated for 4mo going in to 5mo. I have my son fulltime, he sees his dad everyother weekend if it would out with his dad's work schedule. My son is very active and can't sit still unless he's tired. I've been having issues with my son not listening or respecting me as authority figure..he tells me he's boss,will back talk to me... when tell him not to do something he does it anyways. I've tried talking with him at his level, time outs, even a little tap on the butt which he just turned around and hit me ( i no longer do that as i feel it just encourages hitting). I'm alone and don't know what to do. My husband livings with his parents out of state, when I ask him for help, I get from him is that I'm glad it not me dealing with him. My husband has no patience with our son. I love my son so much and feel I'm at a lost.... Anyone have any advice on how to get a 3 yr old to listen and respect his mom?


Jaime - posted on 08/05/2012




Something you can try is planned ignoring. Whenever he hits you or back talks, just simply get up and walk away. Go into your room and shut the door for five minutes so that you can compose yourself and so that you are calm enough to deal with any tantrums that might ensue. If he's hitting you and back-talking, he's looking for attention in any form. I'm not suggesting that you're not giving him attention, but typically speaking, kids this age don't subscribe to the same social mores that adults do. They don't want to wait patiently to talk to you or to have something that they want. And when they don't get it, there is usually an emotional or a physical response. Hitting is pretty common for kids this age, but if you ignore the behaviour and don't engage it, just simply walk away from him, it will give him pause to realize that the attention he's seeking, he's not getting. Eventually he will stop.

It doesn't help that your husband is so far away and the only comment he can muster is 'glad it's not me dealing with him'...what an ass! Be consistent in your discipline and that will also make a difference. I don't recommend spanking, tapping of the hand or any other physical punishment because I agree, it encourages more hitting.

Sounds like you could also use some 'me' time. If there is a way you can get a sitter for an evening or even a few hours during the day, take some time for yourself. Kids pick up very quickly on our stress, and their behaviour and attention span is the first thing to suffer. I hope things settle down soon, Alison :)

Lacye - posted on 08/05/2012




Start taking away the things he likes the most when he back talks and doesn't listen. Do not give it back until he earns it back.


View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms