Need help with a 10 year old who argues everything I say even when I walk away?

Crystal - posted on 04/14/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




This is all day every day. She argues with me when I can't get away (in the car) and argues things just to hear herself talk (i.e. "that light was almost red mom" me- "I know" her- "you shouldn't run a light mom you know how dangerous that is mom why would you do that.... on and on).

I just killed a spider for her in the bathroom and was grossed out as they are my biggest fear. I usually try to let them outside and she said "why are you so afraid of spiders, my dad isnt afraid of spiders and he's way older than you are". I am a single mom and her father just got re-married.

I cut her off by saying "I am not arguing with you". We were still trapped in the bathroom and she said "Im just saying, dad is like two years older than you and he's not even afraid of spiders so what is your problem?".

I repeated "I am not arguing with you over the spider." and walked out and into my room alone.

Ten minutes later, she came into my room. She actually said to me "So mom about the spider..." I cut her off right there and said "If you came in here to argue more about the spider turn around and get out of here right now". Which she argued "I didn't".

But she HAD come in to argue more since she had nothing else to say and walked away. She even argued about not arguing just to argue more!

I hate fighting about everything like this but she won't quit. Every tiny topic is a way to make fun of mom or bully me. Our days used to be spent happy and hanging out and now she puts me down. Should I keep this up? I dont yell, I just walk away. I do not engage in the arguments anymore but she will track me down until I tell her to leave me alone which makes me feel awful.

What would make a child want to do this? I ask her if she wants to play or go to the park and she tells me no. She never wants any of my time. Thanks.


Jodi - posted on 04/14/2015




It sounds to me like she is just asking a bunch of annoying questions and you are the one turning it into an argument. Can't you just shrug and walk away? Or just answer her questions? It sounds like you are lacking a lot of patience for her. I know this is only a sample of what you are talking about, but I'm not seeing any of these things as being deliberately argumentative, nor things I would consider taking offence to. Sometimes taking offence easily to something can mean there is something else going on (i.e. are you feeling depressed or anxious about things?)

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