Need help with manipulative, stealing step daughter!

Sarah - posted on 07/25/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )




My step daughter and I went out of town to visit my family. We came home and I returned her to her mothers house. The next weekend when she was back at our house (we have every other weekend visits) she was sporting a new bathing suit. I said "that's cute. Is it new?" She told me that her mom had taken her shopping and gotten it for her because her old one was too small. Cool, she probably needed it, she is 15 and has rapidly um blossomed. Also while doing the laundry, I notice a new bra. A cute little trendy number. I said hey that's cute, is that new too? She tells me she's had it a while. The end. Fast forward to about a week later, I get a text from my cousin (we stayed at her house when we went out of town). She asked me if I had seen a bathing suit and bra that she couldn't find. I said no, I didn't think so, do you have a picture of it? She sent me a pic of her in it from when she bought it. Guess what? Same bathing suit the kid on. Hmmm, well Victoria's Secret has stores everywhere. It could be a coincidence. The she says also my bra is missing and describes the same one I had commented on the weekend before with the kid. Oh. Crap. I call the kid out on it and she says oh-my grandma bought it for me last summer but I didn't like how it looked so I only wore it a couple times. She bought both the bathing suit AND bra at the same time. Interesting, that's not what you said about the bathing suit last weekend. She had her grandma text me to say that she bought the bra and bathing suit in question last summer. So, I decide to investigate. Bras have tags, certainly that will help see if maybe it was out last year. Right? Fun fact, there is a number on the bottom of the tag with the care instructions, a 4digit number. Yeah, it's the month and year the bra came out. This bra came out in February of this year.
So here I am now, the step mom. I am furious and embarrassed that I would take her into someone's home for her to plunder through their belongings and just help herself. Her mother and grandmother are maintaining that gma bought them last year. When I said they couldn't have because the one thing didn't come out until this year, they said well maybe we got it this year.
Her dad doesn't want to cause a big family drama because there is no proof that she took it. I'm having a really hard time with this and while I'm mad at her; I am more and at her dad. He feels like he is being put in a position to either call his ex and her mother liars or have nothing done about it. I feel super betrayed by him and it feels like she is able to get away with whatever she wants to do. I have had the feeling that she has been stealing stuff from me, but with no "proof" nothing has been done about those things either. We are on day 2 of fighting about this and I don't like it. Am I overreacting? We have been together for 5 years and things have been great. The kid and I are usually peas in a pod. Within the last 6 months these things have started to surface. I've tried talking to her (because she has ALWAYS talk it me about pretty much everything). She was trying to date an 18 year old (she had just barely been 15) and wanted me to talk to the boys parents and tell them that it was ok for them to date. I refused and That's pretty much when things started to go to crap.

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