Need help with my 2 year old

Kimberly - posted on 07/29/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




My two year old is aggressive, and has anger problems..what can I do


JuLeah - posted on 07/29/2011




well, I don't know the behavior you are discribing, but use care with the language. For example, we might see a kid who cries a lot and conclude, he is whining and demanding.

We will focus on the words we used and dismiss the kid who might actually be ill and telling us with the only language he has.

At two, kids have noticed there is a big world out there. There are toys they want, snacks they like, places they want to go.

Most don't have the language for all of this. Now, for two years, they have been able to cry or fuss and all their needs have been responded to. They were held, fed, changed.

It was a good system, why is it no longer working?

They can't understand that their needs are bigger, you don't read minds, and you can't know what they want. AND, they have limited language.

It's enough to make a person angry.

So, twos will hit, they will scream, they will throw things.

This is not aggression or anger problems, this is normal two behavior.

Don't use anger or aggression in response, as I am sure you know. That only teaches them to continue using aggression.

Give langauge. So, I know you are reading to him every night, but add to that. When reading, ask him, "Do you see the tree on this page?" "Can you point to the blue bird?"

All day long, give langauge for what he wants. He is pointing and grunting in the direction of a toy.

YOu say, "Yellow truck" "You want the yellow truck?"

Get him to make an effort towards thoes sounds as you hand him the truck.

If he hit, throws .... tell him a firm 'No' and redirect him.

Distract and redirect as your best tools now.

If he hits you or another kid, remove him from the situation with the words, "We don't hit"

Never remove him for more then a minute or so, and then offer tools for getting waht he wants that are better then hitting, "Use your words"

"Can I have that?"

This is a lot, and I am making a lot of assumptions cause not much detail was offered, but if this is not what you need, the library has good books on the life of a two.

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