Need some advice

Jossie - posted on 03/30/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have an almost three year old and his dad has seen him once when he was barely a month old, he stayed about ten minutes then left, after that I didn't hear from him for a month or so, I contacted him to see if he wanted to see my son again and he made up some excuse of why he couldn't, then he stopped talking to me for about 7 months when I again got ahold of him to see if he wanted to see my child and again he said he couldn't cuz his girlfriend ran over her best friends cat and that one their dogs had died as well and he needed to be with her, so then he stopped talking to me after a month of back and forth talking over Facebook he threaten to take me to court and called me a piece of Sh!t and now it's been about two almost three years and he just contacted me about a month ago and ask to see my son, I haven't replied back to him and he hasn't messaged me anything else. Now he isn't on the birth certificate and my child has my last name, I was never married to him and have not received child support of any kind from him ever. I'm just not sure how to go about this, my son deserves to have his father in his life, I just don't want my ex to take off with my child if I let him visit my son. I say this because my ex has made countless threats to me about taking my son away from me. I just would like some advice on if and what I should say to him and what are some things I need to do or things I should be prepared to do, or be prepared for.


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Michelle - posted on 03/30/2016




I agree with Jodi.
You need to talk to a lawyer and get custody, visitation and child support sorted out, preferably through the court. That way if he does take his son when he shouldn't you can get the police involved. As things are, he's the Father and there's nothing stopping him from having his child when he wants.
It doesn't matter that you were never married or the child has your last name or the Father isn't on the birth certificate, he's still the Father. All he needs is to do a DNA test to prove it.

Jodi - posted on 03/30/2016




Birth certificate, no birth certificate, absent, there, married, unmarried, child support, no child support, he is still the father, and he hasn't signed away his rights, so yes, he does still have rights.

If you still want him in your child's life but don't want him to take off with him then time to file for custody and child support orders. Quite honestly, this should have been done as soon as the child was born for the protection of ALL concerned, including the child. If you need legal advice around this, talk to a lawyer. Depending on where you live, you may need a lawyer to do this filing for you.

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