Needing support, feeling territorial and overwhelmed.

Rachel - posted on 03/02/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm 32 weeks along with twins, getting closer and closer to my due date. I've become intensely territorial and overwhelmed about having my boys. I've begun feeling like a horrible wife for not wanting much to do with the in laws as they have become over bearing and unsupportive in how I feel. My husband can't reassure me and thinks I'm being really unfair and mean to them. Yet, they can say anything they wish, hurt my feelings, and make crude jokes, and it's fine.
I discovered I'll be having a c-section, which is fine as long as the boys are safe, but I'm terrified of surgery as I've never had it before. I know everything will turn out fine, but my only wish was not to be bombarded by a ton of people while in the hospital. I requested only my family and a select few of the in laws who can visit, as they can keep me calm. Turn to find out though, the in laws plan on just showing up anyways thinking I'm over exaggerating and being selfish. My husband seems I'm over thinking it, but I know how his family can get. As they already don't like how I plan on parenting, which is non of their concern. I can't seem to get support from my husband. Makes me feel like just another hormonal pregnant lady (what he likes to call it). I'm just at a lost for words and can't express my feelings without being shut down.

Anyone know how to handle or deal with this?
You're more than welcome to share your stories as well!


Sarah - posted on 03/02/2015




I think you are having some very normal feelings. You have the biggest life change you are ever going to have just a few weeks away, it is ok to feel anxious and worried and like you don't have control.
I worked in Labor and Delivery for many years. A scheduled c-section is still major abdominal surgery and it is normal to feel scared. Your twins are likely going to be much safer born via-c-section than if you tried a vaginal delivery. Scheduled c-sections rarely "go wrong". When it comes to you hospital stay, your nurse can become your partner in limiting visitors. I have done that dirty work more time than I can count. I have kicked, grandma, sisters, baby-daddies and especially in-laws, right on out. They won't be permitted near you pre-operatively and let your recovery nurse know ASAP who you want in and whom you want kept out. She won't be surprised at your request, I promise. You can expect a three or four day stay in the hospital and you can spend that time alone with your babies or with whomever you want.
Try to have a heart to heart with your husband. Tell him that you need his support and that you'd like him to back you up. If he won't stand up to his parents now, that will probably be the case for the future. So the sooner you can find a way to put your foot down with your in-laws, the better you will feel. Best of Luck!

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