Tammy - posted on 06/29/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




My husband and i been together for 3 yrs and recently had our one yr. anniversary in April 2015. So i asked him what is the problem you have shut down on me and haven't wanting to make love for 9months now since i lost my job in August and him wanting to move his 11yr. old daughter in with us because he misses her. Well, first of all i never met this little girl nor have i met her mom out of three yrs. He never talks about her to me so i ask why do you want her to live with us is her mom dying, or going to jail or where did this come from? He told me no but she is my daughter and i said yes she is but you are asking a lot of me to accept being a step mom and to raise your 11yr. old whom i never met and is set in her ways and i am having a problem with your 24yr old that you seem to can't push out the nest and now he wants his youngest to move in... I'm sorry but i did't see that coming and i am a career woman and i am 51yrs old, just married my daughter off 2 weeks age and i already couldn't wait for this moment all of my parenting life to be able to be free and
travel and do what i want and this man expect me to go backwards with this mental drama he is going through. I'm sorry but if he wanted a Nanny Wife then he shoud have married her, not Me. He is 51 also and i really thought i found that guy who was ready to not only retire and live but with kids almost out on their own. But he have a 24yr old he need help pushing out the nest and now he expects me to raise a child who is set in her ways....I FEEL THIS IS A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN. I love kids but i am not into raising anyone's child unless God forbid tragedy strikes, but i have two grandchildren that i adore and see when i want but i am not the rocking chair granny,, i am the new Nanna aka Diva and proud of it. what would you do somebody pls.


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Jodi - posted on 06/30/2015




"you are asking a lot of me to accept being a step mom and to raise your 11yr. old"

Really? You became a step mother when you married him. Why the hell did you marry a man with a kid if you weren't prepared to potentially have to raise the child in some way? If you wanted to be free and travel, you, my dear, made a very serious mistake marrying a man with responsibilities. You really didn't see it coming? Were you hiding under a rock?

Michelle - posted on 06/29/2015




You married a man who had kids that you hadn't met. Why would you marry someone without meeting their children?
You should be encouraging a relationship between your husband and his child, not driving a wedge between them.
It sounds as if there are quite a few problems in your marriage, I would suggest counselling for you on your own and together.
I don't blame him for withdrawing from you if you won't accept his children. I wouldn't be with a man if he didn't accept my children. But then this would have been sorted out well before I married him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/29/2015




You married a man with kids, and regardless of what you think, he does have a responsibility to that 11 year old. If he is getting more custody of her, that's great for both of them, and I'd say you need to learn how to adjust to that.
Yes, you need to meet the child, and I'd recommend a gentle move in period so that the two of you can get used to each other, but seriously, you're 51. Can you not figure out how to be flexible and accommodate your husband's child? If not, then I'd say this isn't the relationship for you. Maybe that's how he feels as well. After all, you won't accept him fully, as a parent as well as a spouse, so maybe he doesn't feel that he needs to accept you fully as a lover as well as a spouse...
I'd say that perhaps you need to rethink your position on the 11 YO. The older one, however, needs to grow up and get on with her own life. That's way to old to be living off of daddy, no matter how easy it is.

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