new partner and my kids - desperate for advice

Kimberly - posted on 10/31/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




Ok here goes, I am a single mum of two (aged two and 4 boy and girl), I met this guy online a few weeks ago, we met up twice with out my kids present, and last night we hung out and he met my kids. So we get along, like you wouldn't believe, instant attraction, comfortable, same hobbies etc, same values, and personalities. This instantly brought us closer than we could ever have imagined, we are both spun out about all similarities. And agree we feel an extreme attachment, before you jump the gun, were not being stupid about this as we've both been hurt and kids are involved. Now he is and always has been a career driven person, I am currently a stay at home mum, because of his past relationships, and career, he has never had the children subject cross his mind, and says at this time hes not sure if he will ever want them, as he just doesn't know at this time, he has said that that if he didn't have this confusing thought we would be so happy together. this feeling is strengthened because his sister is career driven too, and 6 years older than him, married and her and her husband have decided to not have kids, they have talked about her not wanting kids, and he mentioned to her that he's never had it cross his mind either. He doesn't want to string me along and never come to the decision of wanting kids, which both of us would end up hurt, so we agreed to be nothing more than friends to attempt to not stress the subject, and just go from there, which is why he met my kids last night, now I feel if he hangs out with them, responsibility free, he MAY come to terms with having kids in his life (I'm praying). But we are sooo far advanced with our feelings and can not keep our hands off each other as we are soo attracted to each other. We have the same relationship traits, ie. Need physical "touchy feely" stuff to confirm affection, and show affection, we both find this so great that we feel the same, and it is already showing signs of bringing us closer... Soo what do I do, there's no way I'm kicking him to the curb, and he doesn't want that either, we both feel that each other as the people that we are, are a rare find, and what we have is something special, hes kind of in a worried mind set that "what if I never know what I want"? And is worried we will end up hating each other by the end of that scenario, is there something I can say/do to increase chances of him knowing what he wants, sooner rather than later?! Good or bad, we both want to know if we can take it further than friends? Were a bit desperate, and a little stressed :( please any ideas or advice, past experience?


Jodi - posted on 10/31/2015




Honestly? You met this guy online A FEW WEEKS ago and have met him twice, then decide to introduce him to your kids.

Sorry, WAY too soon. Why can't the TWO of you just let the relationship take its course? Build a friendship first and see where that goes. At this point, especially as he is uncertain, it is way too soon to be introducing your kids to him. It's been a FEW WEEKS. You CANNOT know someone well enough after meeting them twice to bring them into your chidlren's lives. You don't know anything about this guy other than what he's told you, right?

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