New to this- overwhelmed about a lot!

User - posted on 11/07/2019 ( 1 mom has responded )

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hey everyone! i'm a new stepmom. my boyfriend was never married but had a 3 year relationship with his daughters mother, ended in 2016. they have a cordial relationship, no friendship. his daughter and I get along so well! she's five and we have been together for a year and a half. I struggle with sharing him ( I know that sounds weird) and getting over the fact he had such a huge first with someone else. his ex and I do not get along well (which is her fault). I'm cordial and polite and she tries to walk all over both of us.

I need help and some kind words. I get in my own head a lot and think i'm not enough because i'm not his daughter's mother. It could be immaturity, i'm not sure! I'm 28 and my boyfriend is 35.

Thanks for listening, ladies!

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Sharon - posted on 11/17/2019

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Just be yourself and don't overdo the winning the daughter over. How you begin this relationship will determine if YOU can live up to your non-verbal promises to this child. Those promises do happen in our minds, it's called expectations. Be yourself, support the father's desires for his child and be a support extension, not a take over and raise her addition. Mainly, keep any negative ideas or thoughts to yourself about her parents away from her ears. Your life will be happier for it.

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