No contact with my children

Karen - posted on 03/05/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Looking for advice. I have not seen my children for 25 years, my former husband has turned my children against me, after he got interim custody. It is like they are brainwashed, I did not do any crime. They are just the other side of the river but we were told they wanted no contact. They know very little about me and my new life. I tried to contact them but I do not want to cause them any undue stress. I think of them of everyday and Holidays and birthdays are very difficult.
I now have 5 wonderful adult stepchildren and six grand children. My current husband is my best friend and he has been very supportive for the past 15 years.
What can we do??


Livia - posted on 03/05/2014




My heart goes out to you. I can tell you what I would do, I cant tell you what you should do because what if you do what I tell you to do and it backfires.
25 years is a long time, I dont know the circumstances of what happened but knowing what I do about divorces and child custody battles and the system and going through what I am right now with our foster daughter who is 5 I can tell you this.
I would write them each a letter. I think I would write them each their own letter instead of writing the same letter and sending it to each child. First i would say that I should have written this letter long ago but I was afraid of the response I would get I was told you didn't want to hear from me. I would really like too talk to you and possibly see you. Maybe I would explain something about the 25 years and what happened and if I had anything to be sorry for I would say sorry. I would mention that I love across the river and that I miss them very much and that I have thought about them every holiday. Tell them that I have a husband who is supportive and that if they wanted to they could meet him as well. I would let them make all the decisions but I wouldnt let them walk all over me, The one thing I know I WOULD HAVE to try and I would have to try NOW because the not knowing would drive me crazy and the what if even more. I would explain my side if I had a side to explain.I would make copies of any pics I had with them and send each of them one, and at the end I would tell them each how much I love them and always will. I hope this helps a little bit. Best of luck!!!

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