Not getting paid....

[deleted account] ( 17 moms have responded )

I have for children. The three oldest are in school and the youngest is still at home during the day. My sister has asked me to babysit her 1 year old son 2 days a week. We agreed that she would pay me $20 a day. A little while ago they had an emergency and she asked if it would be ok if she didn't pay me for a few weeks. The emergency has passed and she still hasn't paid me. It has been 8 weeks now and I want to know if any of you had any ideas on how to nicely ask her to pay me and if I should expect her to pay me back for all the weeks she missed paying me or if we should just start over fresh.


Lisa - posted on 02/26/2011




I would start fresh. Just tell her you're glad they are past their financial problems and it will be nice to start having some spending money for yourself again.

[deleted account]

Since she is family I probably wouldn't ask for the back pay (unless you REALLY need it), but since you both agreed on the initial amount I think you should just try to casually ask if everything is settled for her to begin paying you again. If not, then you have a choice to make of whether you want to continue watching him for free or stick w/ the original agreement.... in which case I'd give her 2 weeks notice to either start paying again or find other care. Good luck!

Dora - posted on 02/25/2011




I come from a family where we never ask each other for money for anything. When we need help no matter hat it is we just help each other out. I really don't know what you can say to your sister but since she is your sister you should be able to just ask her. Just let her know that you can really use the money now and ask her nicely when she thinks she can pay you. That is about all I can think of. If you truly need the money don't wait too long because you may start to resent her.

Angela - posted on 02/27/2011




Seeing that another week is getting ready to start, I would call her and explain that although you understand that she had an unexpected emergency and was hard hit for money, you have obligations and bills of your own to pay and that the agreement was to watch her child for $20/day. She will need to resume payment or she will need to find another sitter. It's a business agreement, and one she needs to adhere to. Whether she'll pay the backlog or not, that's another matter and one you'll need to determine. Did you tell her how many payments she could miss? If not, you may be out that money. I wish you the best.

Bonnie - posted on 02/26/2011




When you talk with her, just bring it up in conversation, "It has been awhile and i'm wondering when you will be able to start paying me for watching him again?" You both had an agreeance that she would pay you $20 a day, so it is what you are expecting. It's not as if it is coming out of the blue.
I would probably forget about the backpay though. She had an emergency she had to deal with and she is your sister. Might as well just start out fresh.


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Caitlin - posted on 02/28/2011




I think you have come to the right decision - people often let a lot slide within families and then end up feeling resentful. Because family is forever and important that is all the more reason to treat your family with respect and that means the same rules apply that they would elsewhere- I would totally cut my sister a break if needed as i know she would with me- but we'd also pay each other back or at least not procrastinate on starting up again.

[deleted account]

Thank you all for your comments. I love my nephew and I want to continue watching him. But I don't think that family should be allowed to take advantage of you just because they're family. My sister is reasonable and I think that if I have a heart to heart with her things will work out. I wont ask her for backpay but I will let her know that I won't be a doormat either.

Caring for a 1 year old is exhausting, he's an active little guy and If I'm going to take time and energy away from my own children I deserve something in return. It has been really nice to see our savings account growing because of this small amount I've been able to put in. I believe that if you are a working mother paying for child care is just part of the deal. She can write it off on taxes and there are other forms of child care compensation that she is entitled to. I am happy to care for my nephew but they need to act like responsible adults and set money aside for emergencies. If they used daycare they would have to cut back on other things like the rest of us (like not going out to eat every night and buying that new iphone) in order to pay the bills. Maybe this will be a good lesson for them in money management.

[deleted account]

If you do business with or lend money to friends or family - you MUST consider it a gift. Unless the money is more important to you than the relationship. You decide. Money comes and goes, but family MIGHT be forever.

Shastin - posted on 02/27/2011




I watch kids part time and it does take up your time, energy and money (food, gas, etc). If you have the means and heart to help her out do but you could also give her a discount for the past but not let her get away scott free. You could tell her that you want to help her out but also need to settle past childcare. So have her ler you know what she thinks is fair considering her circumstances to pay for the past care and then go over the price again for the future. That leaves the ballin her court. If she can't pay she will say so. In future, make sure she is paying you weekly and let her know you love her but that you are also working. You know more about her circumatances that the rest of us.

Christy - posted on 02/27/2011




Give her one weeks notice, with places that will take her child 2 days a week and their costs. She is taking total advantage of you. You don't need this since you have 4 kids of your own, family or not!

Stifler's - posted on 02/26/2011




I would just say "so what day are you going to start paying again". I wouldn't ask for back pay or whatever but if she's taking advantage of your compassion that's just wrong.

Rhiannon - posted on 02/26/2011




Does she provide the food and nappies for the baby?

If she does provide his food and nappies, and she is struggling for money mayby you could provide your time for free until she is back on her feet

Dora - posted on 02/26/2011




I definitely agree with Lisa and Bonnie. After reading your latest post it does not appear that she is having financial difficulties at this time. Ask her nicely about it and start fresh with the payments. Also you seem like a very caring person and her son is lucky to have you watch him. I don't want to make you feel guilty whatsoever but also think about your nephew being cared for 100% and knowing he is always safe in your hands. Coming from a mom who had to put their child in daycare, there is really nothing like having loving/caring family what over your precious little ones. But either way run it by her and see what she says. Good luck!

Louise - posted on 02/26/2011




If your sister is spending the money on other things I would probably make some comment like thats a nice coat how much was that oh $100 um thats 5 weeks babysitting charges! Then watch for the reaction. She maybe your sister and of course you would help her out in a fix but if she is taking the piss let her know about it. Just because you are sisters it does not mean you are free childcare. I am sure you would like the money as well and if this was somebody elses child you would be making a lot more than $20 a week. You are doing her a favour already because she would not get this cheap child care any where else. It is a tricky situation but if you do not confront her she will continue to rub your face in it that you are being walked all over because you are family. Not right!

[deleted account]

If she was still in a position where she couldn't afford to pay me I would continue watching him for free but I know that they should be able to afford it now again. Thats what bothers me, when I see her getting expensive things and not being able to pay me $40 to watch her child. I have made big sacrifices to be able to stay home. And I am making sacrifices to watch her baby. If they were really in financial trouble I would help out for free and be glad to do it but they're not so I feel kind of used.

User - posted on 02/25/2011




I agree with Dora although I have trouble asking my family about money matters, don't like the awkwardness.

Tyrae - posted on 02/25/2011




If you do ask her to start paying you again I would start over, without her owing you anything.

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