Not sure if I did the right thing

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Ok so heres the scoop try to makeit short, a year ago my husband and I loaned my father-in-law some money, for a trip. He didnt need the money, he just didnt want to pay a penalty on withdrawing from his investment early. We were told we would get the money back when another investment he had matured in november. I thought ok sure winter is a good time to have a little extra money coming in so I did it. Well that deadline has come and gone by 6 months. When we called to ask about it, we were told it wouldnt be until spring now, which we are in the midst of, still nothing, not even a partial payment.My husband again called and let them know that we are pretty much in dire straits here and any amount would be very helpful. No response as of yet. I'm talking disconnects, cancellations and a low LP fuel tank which is used for heat and cooking. It costs anywhere from 500 to 600 to fill. I have my grand daughter living with me and no heat is unacceptable.My husband has not had work since the end of december, except for a few meeger jobs here and there.So heres where I am not sure....since we have gotten nowhere with phone calls, I sent an email, explaining the hardship we are having and reminded them of what they told us when they first asked to borrow it. I think they will call my husband madder then a wet hen and in turn he will be mad at me. He knows how I feel about this and how they use his blind love of them to their advantage.Yes I know I didnt have to loan the money to them but in the way past they had helped us out on figured I would return that favor. I am now seriously regretting it, and should have listened to my tiny voice. What makes me even more angry is I know that had they borrowed it from my husbands sister they would have paid her back right away.Its a favoritism thing something I have witnessed time and again for 20 years and thats why I am so angry with them.So did I do the right thing or did I cause turmoil with the inlaws and him, but more so between my husband and myself because honestly at this point I have stopped trying to please or pretend for them.


View replies by

[deleted account]

Thanks ladies, I was respectful because for some reason, even though, I dislike them I still have respect for them. I did feel it finally fell on me to really make the point loud and clear, because my husband doesnt like confrontation or turmoil. I am just hoping now I have the strength to defend my actions to my husband in a manner he will understand, because no one and I mean no one does his family wrong for any reason.

Elfrieda - posted on 04/18/2012




No, I don't think you're wrong to remind them of what they owe you. If you did it respectfully, but still made your point loud and clear, I would think it was the exact right thing to do. Usually it should be the blood family to confront the in-laws, but if he is unable to for whatever reason, then it falls to you.

S. - posted on 04/18/2012




Aw I hope your husband isn't too mad at you and realises why you did it (I think you had more then enough right to send the email) Remined your hb that you took care of them when they needed it and now you need to take care of yourselfs! It's awful what they have done.

My husband's rule is if you haven't got it to give away then you don't loan it out as it's not worth the fall out. my rule is if I lend it out I expect it to come back!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms