Only one from church small group not invited to wedding

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

My pastor was officiating the wedding and said I wasn't the only one from my small group not invited and listed some people in our small group that werent invited but they don't go to small group regurarly or are new to the group (with th exception of this one guy). This was before the wedding happened. So he had access to the guest list? Why would he know the guest list?

And after I saw the pictures I messaged him saying I saw all the girls from small group in the pictures and... thats when he listed these people from our small group that werent invited but who dont come very often or are new (except for the one guy).That doesnt matter to me because I have been going regularly, Im a girl and have been going for a long time and I was the only one out of the group of girls that goes regurarly that isnt new that was not invited. That is what makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I was the only girlone out of the core group not invited, like do they have something against me or does somebody else in the group have something against me and they wanted them there and didnt want them feeling uncomfortable around me? I dont know


Jodi - posted on 05/27/2016




You want an honest opinion? If you aren't capable of asking the bride directly why she didn't invite you then the chances are you are not well enough acquainted with her to have received an invitation.


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Molly - posted on 05/27/2016




couldn't you have gone to ceremony anyway? at least in my church weddings are not super private and sometimes an old teacher or parents of your friends will come watch the service.

Ev - posted on 05/27/2016




I would have to agree with the others on what they said. Maybe the bride did not know you well enough to consider you someone to be a guest at the wedding. Maybe they had only a certain number of people they could invite. Maybe it was other reasons. It might not have been done to even hurt your feelings. There is no telling what her reasons were for excluding you. If you do ask about it do not come across angry or hurt to her. Just as politely that you noted she got married but you never got an invite and you were wondering why. How big is your church?

Victoria - posted on 05/27/2016




I would not stress this and I would however let them know that this hurt you ONLY because you feel as if you had done something wrong to not be invited

Molly - posted on 05/27/2016




i am sorry you got your feelings hurt. i run a small group for teens 10 thru 12th graders, mostly the girls are quite close there are 8 altogether in my group but we average 6. just recently the 12th grade girls are graduating from high school and are having parties. i know that the 10th graders are not invited to every celebration but i don't say that to them--i also would not tell just one girl if she was left out. how unkind of the pastor to not think of how it would make you feel to tell you that you were not invited.
when derek and i wed we did have quite a large wedding as we both have large immediate families however at some point all couples must draw the line and stop inviting people. i don't know the story for this couple-- if they were limited in number of guests? i don't know, i guess i am not really helping. i cannot imagine she wanted to hurt you--so why not just ask her?

Michelle - posted on 05/27/2016




Like the others have said, ask the bride. We have no idea why you weren't invited. Also it wasn't your pastor's place to say anything, he should know better.
On the other hand, who cares? There's probably a very good reason and surely you knew about the upcoming wedding so why didn't you question it earlier?

Sarah - posted on 05/26/2016




Why on earth would your pastor even bring this up to you? In what context could this have been appropriate? If you want to know why you were not invited you have one option, ask the bride. That may make for a very awkward conversation or it may be a simple explanation. To worry that something is wrong with you is pointless. I don't really understand why the pastor knew the guest list either.

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