overwhelmed, taken for granted, i need advice, help?

Jenna - posted on 04/11/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




This may be somewhat long, so i appriciate whoever actully reads this and gives me some advice.
I'm 19, i have two sons, one is almost 3 & the other is 4 months, i'm with the babys father, we're engaged & he bought a house almost a year ago, we've been together for 5 years now. I was a stay at home mom, from the time i graduated in may to about a month ago when i got a job as a stylist at famous hair. We agreed since he worked i would do the cleaning, cooking & whatnot. Yet, now that I'm working, since its only part-time, he still thinks i should be doing everything (he works midnights so comes home around 8, play his video games till 11-12, then sleeps till 6-7, then goes to work & continues this 5-6 nights a week & has saturdays and sometimes fridays off work) He doesnt clean up after himself whatsoever, plus we have two dogs that are still potty training, so i feel like i have 5 children sometimes, it gets so hard to keep up with the house sometimes plus working 19-30 hours a week. It gets really embaressing when friends or family wants to stop by & i dont have enough time to clean before the show up. We have the worst problems with keeping up with bills, so we're always stressing about money, yet he thinks whenever one of us gets paid we're rich & spends 50-100 at the bar, we also rent-to-own our washer & dryer from Aaron's & he recently added a laptop to it which we pay 100 a month for...when we already have one. Also, Me & my fiance have had problems in the past with him talking to other girls, well, recently i found out that hes slept with another girl when i was about 7 1/2 months pregnant (the night i found out about it, one of my fiances friends was the one who told me, who also went on about how disrespectful he is to me & he no longer has respect for him himself) I told him i would get over it although it hurt me a lot, mainly because i want to stay together for the boys..& we've been together forever. Sometimes now though i feel like i should have just left him then..but .i dont know anything else other than being with him... my mom has said a million times, no matter what i'm always welcome back at her house. & everyone i talk to has no idea how i've put up with him.. to sum it up, my life has been rough, pregnant when i was 15, had him at 16, worked & went to school, moved out when i was 17, got pregnant with my second when i was 18, bought our own home at 18, everyone things im such a strong person, but in all reality its been such a show, & i really feel like im starting to break now after all these years of having to grow up & all the responsibilites... is this just a normal life, am i really just being weak about this? or is there something that needs to be done, because honestly...i feel like i cant stay in this state of life for much longer, or im really going to crack...


[deleted account]

Is marriage EVER in the plans? I know I am old fashioned, but...

Anyway, you have to sit down and have a serious conversation about these things. Maybe with a mediator. He needs to know that you feel overwhelmed and taken for granted. You need to figure out a strict budget, include a little "blow" money for him but men in committed relationships with the mother of their children do not belong in a bar without his "woman" along. Again, I know I am old fashioned but that is the way I see the bar thing. You don't need to "go out" without him either, those activities invite trouble. It really sounds like you two have a communication problem.

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