Please give me some word of support….completely lost with the upcoming divorce.

Sofya - posted on 03/04/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




Not sure how to start this story, but surely it will be long. I'm Eastern Eu and my husband is an Arab, we have been together for 2 years exactly, married for 1 year. We have a beautiful 8 month old baby together. The hell that i am living through started about 1 month before the birth of our son. I had a very difficult 30 hour birth and on the second day after coming back from the hospital… husband called me an "occupant" and told me to get out of his apartment or he will call legal services to say he has an illegal occupant at his place……thankfully i have my own apartment where i moved….i remember packing a flat still bleeding with a 2 day old baby was not easy to say the least….it took me 13 hours and finally at 1am we moved out. He recognised he made a mistake and started asking me to get back with him. I did not. For a month i continued living at my flat, my mom came to help with the newborn son and well….it was the worst month of my life….finally i gave in (still loved him) and said that if he goes to couple's counselling with me and sees a psychologist i will consider getting back with him.
It took a long time for me to forget and forgive this incident, a person who was a gentleman suddenly turned into a monster i never recognised anymore. We started arguing more often and he started threatening to leave. (He moved in into my flat )

Finally, after 5,6 times of him telling me he wants out i broke down, mentally. I developed a post natal anxiety and had to see my GP and psychiatrist who put me onto antidepressants….about 5,6 times he promised not to throw the word "Divorce" unless he meant it. ANd it seems after hearing from Psychiatrist that his behaviour has caused a high anxiety issues with my son ( i saw him dying 40,50 times a day everyday) he understood that this tactic needed to be changed.

The personality that he has is …. different. He wants a wife who will never cross him and will idolise his whole well being…

This brought to the situation that i am now in: Two days ago i did not respond to him the way he wanted and he got angry telling me how i should be talking to him. I said he should have married an arab wife to do so and the argument started……

It developed into this: (i'm quoting his messages as he wrote them:)
You went over board
I am dealing with you
Bare in mind
You should take this into your consciousness until you step into the grave
the you are the demon of yourself.
You are a disappointment
Be honest to yourself, you are a humiliation
Worth nothing
But a pair of boobs
Men will only want you for that
And i am not even sure
Leave everything i gave you if you have dignity
You are cheap, you get paid with the gifts and you are a gift whore.
You will die an old dog.

These messages were sent to me in a matter of 30 minutes and left me speechless.
I came back home, he packed his stuff and left his wedding ring on the table.

I gave my all, my health, my love, my home to him and it all came to this
Problem is, i know for a fact, he will leave me without money and apart from the gifts that he gave me (that i can sell) i will not have any other cash.
I am a stay at home mom and even if i desperately want a job, i cannot. My 8 month old baby deserves better. I do not want to leave him in a government subsidised places with random people looking after him.
Completely lost.
ANy support will help.

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