PLEASE HELP... Custody trouble, stripping parental rights, etc

Shanta - posted on 04/24/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




My daughter is 4 and her biological father hasn't seen her since 2014, BUT he took me and my husband to court before my husband could legally adopt her and now he has limited rights. I still want to try to strip him of his rights, but I've heard he has to sign over his rights. Couldn't I just use the fact that he abandoned her since 2014 to get it done, or is it too late?? I really need help, my kid's dad is actually causing health problems for me, I started back having anxiety really bad and me and my husband has had 2 miscarriages because of the stress and hell I have to go through, he's taking advantage of the petition, he really doesn't want her. He harasses me to speak to her only when he knows I'm not around her just so he could say I'm contempt of court.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/24/2016




Your current husband never had the adoption option to begin with.

The others have stated it very well. Get counseling for your help in handling things. Unless the man that you created this should with is proven unfit, you have to co-parent with him.

Dove - posted on 04/24/2016




When did he take you to court and when was he granted limited rights?

Your daughter has a right to know her father. If he is attempting to contact her according to his court order it is your responsibility to make sure he is able to contact her. Period. If you are not around her it is your responsibility to make sure he can contact her through the adult that IS around her.

If the stress is causing you health problems I highly recommend you seek counseling. You can't just cut this man out because you want your husband to adopt her. She HAS a father and she has a right to as much of a relationship w/ the man as she can have. It's not your job to strip her father of his rights. It's your job to help her through this.

Ev - posted on 04/24/2016




Okay, Here is the thing: 1)Her father has as much right to be in her life as you do. He has a right for chances to parent, to have a relationship, and to know her. She has a right to know about her family and this includes her father. 2) It was his right to take it to court to get any visitation he can so he can see his child. 3) Most times the only way you can get the other parent to give up their rights to a child is IF they want to do so or unless it is proven that they are unfit, unable, abusive, neglectful, or are a danger to the child in any shape, form or fashion. Your husband can not ever legally adopt her until her father chooses to give up his rights or they are revoked by a judge or he is no longer living. I am not wishing that on him but those are the only ways it would or could happen. 4) As for causing health issues: You are allowing all this to eat at you and you do not have to let it happen. Some of this is on you for allowing him to get under your skin. I understand how much stress it causes as I have been through custody myself and had to make some hard choices. But to blame all your issues health wise on him is not fair because you are allowing it to eat at you. YOU are also responsible for your health and what you allow to make or break you as a person.
You are going to have to just learn and deal with the situation at hand. I can not validate that you will get his rights taken away or that he will agree to give them up. As I said, he has rights to this child too. You are going to have to prove him unfit. As for abandonment, you need to see what the family law in your state says about that. I do know from hearing from some people that it is considered abandonment in some states or places if a parent has had no contact with the child from as little as a few months to a few years to several years. I am not in anyway saying that it is how it is in your area but you have to seek a lawyer for all the information you want. I am sorry you are in this but that is the way it goes when you have a child with someone and then break up and go different ways. You and he will be in connection for the next 14 or so years.

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