Please Help..."good teen girl" going bad?

Mom To 2 - posted on 10/20/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




Well, I'm freaking out right now and just found this site which might save my sanity. I have a 14 year old daughter who I just found out has been lying to me and sneaking around behind my back. We had an issue a few month ago with her sneaking her iPod into her room at night to send messages to boys and so she lost her privileges for a few weeks (which seemed like forever to her). This morning, I went into her room and saw an old iPod (that had been lost a few years ago) sticking out from under her covers, so I took it into my room and read all the messages on it. OMG...she is cutting, hates herself, hates her life, hates her dad, is boldly flirting with 3 different boys, has been kissing a few boys, telling them she loves them, she hates school, swearing, etc.
I'm fairly strict and have had a no dating until high school rule (she's in grade 9) that she hates, so I guess she has found a way around that. I'm reluctant to tell my husband as he will just get ticked right off and yell at her, I'm scared to over react and have her go further into hiding, I'm scared to under react and have her go further out of control. Her public image is that of a good kid, honor roll, athlete, volunteer at church, etc...what on earth do I do now???


Dove - posted on 10/20/2015




Talk to the youth leaders at your church and tell them what you found. Maybe they can counsel her or recommend a family counselor for all of you. There does need to be consequences for the lying and sneaking around, but she needs HELP a lot more than punishment right now.


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Jodi - posted on 10/20/2015




If the school has a school nurse and a counsellor, she needs to connect with them. She is demonstrating a number of risk taking behaviours, which can lead to greater risk taking behaviours if the underlying issues aren't addressed. Get professional help for her.

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