Please help! My 2-1/2 year old boy has become really angry and agressive all of a sudden?

Emily - posted on 04/17/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My son has always been a "runner" and opinionated and stubborn. He has always had a temper, but that's normal for a toddle trying to hold his own in his new world. About 3-4 days ago he stopped listening to me all together. When he would run away from me in public I used to be able to take him aside and calmly talk to him...he would give me eye contact as I would ask for it...then we would hug and it would be great for a little bit. In instances at home when he would do something he wasn't supposed to, I would do the same or put him in his room for a time out, and he would stay there then I would go get him and he would listen.
About 3 or 4 days ago none of this worked. He out of the blue kept screaming "no" and kept running away until chase him and basically hold a screaming and flailing boy. Nothing is working. He is hitting, and is SO ANGRY. I feel like he is possessed all of a sudden. We had the most loving relationship and I felt so close to I cannot stop crying about it and feeling devastated. I know some tantrums are normal, but not sure what is going on.
I did go to his pediatrician yesterday and she is referring me to a child developmental center to make sure everything is okay. Can't get into see them for a week or 2 and as you mommas know, would like a little piece of mind in the mean time. Thanks mommas...I'm feeling really depressed and need support and hugs from other mommas.

Is this normal or have you dealt with this?



Kristi - posted on 04/18/2013




I'm sorry you're struggling! I've been down a road like that but reasons, age and circumstances were different so I'll spare the details. It is hard. I tried mini straight jackets once, but the police said that wasn't ok?? J/K I felt like it sometimes, though.

When mine were toddlers and they'd pitch a fit and verbals and redirection didn't work, they got a swat on the bum, not bare bum. I do NOT want to turn this into a spanking debate, just sharing my experience and that usually snapped them back to reality. However, if your little is angry and hitting, "spanking" is absolutely the wrong way to go.

It's great that you're being proactive. Even if the doctor chuckles and says, "Welcome to the terrible 2's Ms. Griffiths," at least you'll know he's fine and this is a phase. Of course, I'd probably punch him in the nose if he did that but you know what I mean. ; )

Keep up with the hugging. Praise him when he is being extra good. Don't just tell him you are proud of him. In addition, tell him he should be proud of himself for behaving like such a good boy or a big boy and then specify the behavior that he should be proud of. I know he's young and has no idea about self empowerment or self pride but you can start teaching him that "feeling" and "sense" of accomplishment now.

You also need to take care of you. Mommy needs tubby time with some candles and soothing music and/or a good book, maybe a glass of wine. Dishes, laundry, whatever else you "have" to get done after he goes to sleep and before you do, can wait. If you get too overwhelmed, you won't be able to help your son through this effectively and you'll both be worse for the wear. If nothing else, try to take 15-20 minutes to journal about your day. It can be as structured as you like or you can just scribble fleeting thoughts down, whatever flows but something to release what you've got going on inside.

Never forget that he loves you. Even if he screams otherwise...not true. You are his mommy and you are his rock and he needs and loves you. That has not gone away, not at all. Maybe it's just playing peek-a-boo to see how you will handle it. And remember, this too, shall pass. **hugs**

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/17/2013




This can be difficult, trust me I know. My daughter can be rather.....challenging. As for instance, I took my son and daughter to the grocery store this morning. She cried and screamed the entire time through. It was awful. Usually in this situation, if she doesn't stop doing whatever it is, I will take everyone and leave the store. But I couldn't today. No food at the house. I had to deal with her screaming and throwing a fit the whole way through. Lets just say I had tears in my eyes.

Kids at this age can be difficult. They are learning their boundries, and trying to figure things out. My recommendation, when you can leave the situation with them, do. If there are certain triggers, avoid them or try to address them and change them for the positive. Still give lots of hugs, and try not to be to hard on yourself. You will survive. That is what I keep telling myself.

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