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POTTY TRAINING MY 4 YR OLD. NEED ADVICE PLZ.

Araceli - posted on 07/01/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM MOMS WHO HAS A DAUGHTER AND HAS BEEN POTTY TRAINED. MY DAUGHTER WON'T GO POTTY FOR NUMBER 2 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,LOL POOP. SO WHAT CAN I DO TO ENCOURAGE HER TO GO POTTY BC SHE WILL GO BY HERSELF POTTY TO PEE WITHOUT ME TELLING HER BUT HAVING A HARD TIME WITH THE OTHER. SO I WILL BE GLAD FOR SOME ADVICE ANY MOM THAT'S WHY WE IN THESE GROUP TO HELP ONE ANOTHER.

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Dee - posted on 08/14/2009

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I put a treasure chest full of dollar store toys in the bathroom. My son could look at them while he sat on the potty but if he didn't poop he couldn't pick one to keep. I know it sounds kind of gross to have toys by the toilet, but having that incentive staring him in the face really helped. Also, I told him that after a certain amount of time, if he continued to go in the potty, we would go to Chucky Cheese's. That did it. Don't fret too much. Like my pedi told me, you never see a kid start school that isn't potty trained. It will happen!

Deb - posted on 08/11/2009

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Jodi,

Great use of "positive parenting"! I hope many parents will try the reward chart when potty training. Thanks for sharing your insight and experience with everyone here! ; )

Jodi - posted on 08/11/2009

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I didn't have too many problems with #1 vs #2, but we set up a reward chart with some Disney Princess stickers. Every time she did a #1 she got a sticker, every time she did a #2 she got 2 stickers. I bought a handful of gifts (such as a Princess backpack, fairy wings, bits and pieces that little girls love). At the start I sat a gift on top of the fridge and told her that she could have it when she filled her chart with stickers. It took a little while, but she was so excited to get the gift AND also see the next gift she would receive for filling the next chart that it worked like a dream!



BTW, part way through this, when it was more hit than miss, I took her nappies away totally (although we used pull ups at night for a little while).



I also agree with Deb. Punishing a young child for toileting in the wrong place when you are trying to train them (whether smacking them or otherwise) is really counterproductive. Never turn it into a power struggle, because you won't win. They control their body functions, can't win that one!!

Carline - posted on 08/11/2009

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We had the same problem with my soon to be 4 year old grandson. Believe it or not we bought him the potty elmo doll & he started going after that. He took elmo with him in the bathroom & he started pooping like crazy lol. He went to the bathroom with elmo even when he didn't have to go. That elmo doll really helped us alot.

Carline

Sarah - posted on 08/11/2009

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i only have boys but i had the same problem, I just took away the nappys and training pants and he soon worked out its not nice to poop in his pants. So he kinda trained himself. I tried rewards and things but none of them worked. Kids know when they do something embarrasing and they dont like it

Jennifer - posted on 08/08/2009

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I had the exact same problem with my little girl. The only thing that finally got her attention was I took diapers and pull-ups away. She finally got tired of pooping in her panties and I promised her Cinderella panties if she went in the potty. It finally worked. Good luck. Hope this helps!!

Rabecca - posted on 07/16/2009

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Quoting Deb:



Quoting becky:

hi there im becky for me it want to hard to do my daughter but the way i got her potty trained was one day on my day off work we stayed home after she woke up i put a pair of underwear on her and told her she has to go on the potty chair today and not in her pants or she'll get a spank (only cause she knew when she had to potty and was to lazy to go on the chair) so we set the timer on the mirowave for 30min. all day and after it went off she had to sit on the potty til she went then she can get off. and after that day shes been potty trained. so i know this isnt much advice but i hope you'll try it and it works for you as well as it did for me. good luck:-) but remember be pastionate she'll get it






I'm a Parenting Educator and it is NEVER acceptable to spank or hit a child when they have had a potty accident or to make a threat to hit them if they do.  It is just that...an ACCIDENT! Hitting the child can cause even more stress and cause bed-wetting and even more accidents. 






Deb






I just want to say I agree with Deb on this one. And we do spank at our home, but the reason I had so much difficulty getting my oldest to potty on the toilet was because I did spank her once, for getting off the potty to poop on the carpet in front of it!  Spanking her was a HUGE setback! I dont recommend it at all, although the time things works really well!

Rabecca - posted on 07/16/2009

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Quoting Tammy:

I totally believe in shameless bribery. At 4 you can even do long term goals. Maybe she gets a small candy or piece of gun whenever she does it in the potty, then keep a chart with stars or something. If she goes in the potty a whole week, tell her she'll get some big reward- whatever you think she'd be excited about. Definitely make it fun and make it seem like it's her idea. If you pressure her and scold her and make it a battle, she will refuse to do it.



I agree with bribery, but for one small thing, candy EVERY time leads to kids who pretend to potty or potty just a drop in order to get the candy. My sister in law had this problem with her son. And since its importnat to be consistant with rewards and punishments, it was a big problem for her.

Rabecca - posted on 07/16/2009

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Quoting Deb:



Quoting becky:

hi there im becky for me it want to hard to do my daughter but the way i got her potty trained was one day on my day off work we stayed home after she woke up i put a pair of underwear on her and told her she has to go on the potty chair today and not in her pants or she'll get a spank (only cause she knew when she had to potty and was to lazy to go on the chair) so we set the timer on the mirowave for 30min. all day and after it went off she had to sit on the potty til she went then she can get off. and after that day shes been potty trained. so i know this isnt much advice but i hope you'll try it and it works for you as well as it did for me. good luck:-) but remember be pastionate she'll get it






I'm a Parenting Educator and it is NEVER acceptable to spank or hit a child when they have had a potty accident or to make a threat to hit them if they do.  It is just that...an ACCIDENT! Hitting the child can cause even more stress and cause bed-wetting and even more accidents. 






Deb






I just want to say I agree with Deb on this one. And we do spank at our home, but the reason I had so much difficulty getting my oldest to potty on the toilet was because I did spank her once, for getting off the potty to poop on the carpet in front of it!  Spanking her was a HUGE setback! I dont recommend it at all, although the time things works really well!

Rabecca - posted on 07/16/2009

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I had the same problem with my oldest daughter, so was great day and night for peeing, but pooping was another story, and SO frustrating! The panty idea didnt work, because she was just ruining panties! I bought her pull ups and an egg time (a little 3 dollar cheapy thing at WalMart) every 15 minutes we went potty, wether she wanted to or not. When she would go poop in the potty I gave her a sticker to put on her chart, with the promise of new shoes when she got 10 stickers (my little girl is a shoe aholic, Im sure you know what is best to tempt yours with). By the time she earned her shoes (about 2 weeks) she realized it was easier clean up and took less of HER time if she went in the potty.

Amber - posted on 07/16/2009

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Hey, I would make my daughter go bare bottom in the house and keep her where I could see her. After 3 hours on a Sat she finally went number two and I rewarded her with her favorite snacks and a trip to Chucke Cheese. That was the breaking point for us and she has been going on the potty every since. I think its a fear thing...All my other friends did this and it worked as well.Good luck.

Deb - posted on 07/16/2009

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Quoting becky:

hi there im becky for me it want to hard to do my daughter but the way i got her potty trained was one day on my day off work we stayed home after she woke up i put a pair of underwear on her and told her she has to go on the potty chair today and not in her pants or she'll get a spank (only cause she knew when she had to potty and was to lazy to go on the chair) so we set the timer on the mirowave for 30min. all day and after it went off she had to sit on the potty til she went then she can get off. and after that day shes been potty trained. so i know this isnt much advice but i hope you'll try it and it works for you as well as it did for me. good luck:-) but remember be pastionate she'll get it



I'm a Parenting Educator and it is NEVER acceptable to spank or hit a child when they have had a potty accident or to make a threat to hit them if they do.  It is just that...an ACCIDENT! Hitting the child can cause even more stress and cause bed-wetting and even more accidents. 



Deb

Chelsea - posted on 07/16/2009

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A star chart worked for my son...I made a chart for each day of the week and he got to pick out the stickers he wanted and or stars to put on the chart each time he did go to the potty....then at the end of the week or sooner he was rewarded with a toy he got to go pick at the stor that he really wanted....that really worked fro him...hope this helps!!:)

[deleted account]

I totally believe in shameless bribery. At 4 you can even do long term goals. Maybe she gets a small candy or piece of gun whenever she does it in the potty, then keep a chart with stars or something. If she goes in the potty a whole week, tell her she'll get some big reward- whatever you think she'd be excited about. Definitely make it fun and make it seem like it's her idea. If you pressure her and scold her and make it a battle, she will refuse to do it.

Teri - posted on 07/16/2009

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Our son had the same problem - there was over a year between his being trained for #1 and #2. We bought fantastic 'prizes', read several potty books, but nothing worked. In the end, he just had to be comfortable and make his own decision. One thing we did that might help you - since he was (mostly) trained, he stopped wearing diapers except to poop. He would ask us to put on a diaper so he could poop, and then we would clean it up and put his underpants back on. Gradually he got tired of this process and decided to just use the toilet, but by that time he knew exactly how to tell when it was time to poop, and how to make it happen quickly. He was never into sitting on the toilet for long periods. Anyway one day he announced he was going to poop on the toilet, and he never went back.

Helen - posted on 07/16/2009

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I used smarties. i went through quite a few for the 1st month but once we had grasped it i slowly cut them down. i now its not the most conventional idea but it was the only thing my oldest seemed to really understand, and it gave her something to do when she was sat there i used to get her to suc the colour off them until they went white. look for a pattern in when she needs the toilet to alot of children go at the same time of day. we also made a huge song and dance every time a family member went to the toilet, this helped both of my girls. of corse the entire house nows when your going for a poo but sometimes u just have to do what u have to do.

Becky - posted on 07/15/2009

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hi there im becky for me it want to hard to do my daughter but the way i got her potty trained was one day on my day off work we stayed home after she woke up i put a pair of underwear on her and told her she has to go on the potty chair today and not in her pants or she'll get a spank (only cause she knew when she had to potty and was to lazy to go on the chair) so we set the timer on the mirowave for 30min. all day and after it went off she had to sit on the potty til she went then she can get off. and after that day shes been potty trained. so i know this isnt much advice but i hope you'll try it and it works for you as well as it did for me. good luck:-) but remember be pastionate she'll get it

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2009

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I had the same problem with my oldest son. I went to the dollar store and got a bunch of little toys, stickers, and suckers. I told him that if he made poo poo in the toilet then he could earn a prize. It worked for him and he would poop just to get a treat (sometimes he would just sit there and squease out a tiny drop just for a treat lol)

Phuong - posted on 07/14/2009

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for my daughter it was a control issue. that was the last thing she could control me to do. i knew she wanted to go to dance lessons so i told her when she potty train she could go. she went into the bathroom, did her business, and came out and said, "lets go to dance lessons", or put a marble in a jar for everytime she goes and then set a goal and a great prize. or i put a movie on or drawing stuff on a table in front of her and had her sit there and try to do it. good luck, i know it's frustrating,.

Sam - posted on 07/14/2009

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Well show her her fav Teddy doin 'big poos' on the potty (and add some chocolate buttons for affect). This is a good way to show her that even her closest ones have to do it and she does not feel the odd one out - which is why she will not do it at the mo x



hope this helps

[deleted account]

Hi-you may of already tried the reward system? A chart or a special treat if they do it. Maybe aim for 2 no.2's in the loo a wk, gets an even bigger treat? Then increase from there. My son didnt like the spash sound, so we had to layer the bowl up with paper to prevent this. Anyway, all the best.

Beth - posted on 07/13/2009

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I have a boy but for number 2i dont think it matters. Understanding you cant do what we did. we let him go naked and with in a few weeks it was done. but i am willing to bet you live in town with neighbors. i have none. but i was always told to give him candy or something that he liked as a reward for going.

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